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aliljaded 53F
23949 posts
1/17/2019 4:36 pm
Just A Dominant Not Bruce Wayne

So often you see things posted about how Dominants always have their lives in order, amazing careers, are up before the rooster cackles to have an amazing Cross Fit workout, hop into their luxury SUV which carries them into the ‘big city’ where their spacious corner office commands an impressive view and then after the demanding day of bossing around their minions they return home and cook a gourmet dinner. Plus if you believe some of the postings they are regular Bruce Wayne’s and after work all day in the Bat Tower put on their Dom-Batman super spanking suit (Complete with a ‘Bat Belt’ of sexy toys. Deploy Bat Ball Gag!) to bring joy and spankings to all the submissives of lonely Gotham. This would be interesting if this was true but here is the truth about Dominants, we are just like you, often just ordinary people, doing ordinary jobs, working hard, and trying to figure out this thing called life.

Career choice does not define who is or who can be a Dominant. Some Dominants achieve professional success in careers that are lauded and admired, others have mundane careers, they can be business owners, others might be a stay at home parent and yet others might have what could be called the most basic of jobs. A career or job does not define anyone’s ability to be a Dominant in the lifestyle. Charlie the CEO might fancy himself a Dominant but in reality is just a shag bandit while George the garbage man could be an amazing Dominant Gentleman. The thing about how a Dominant makes their living is not related to if they are a good, bad, or half-mad D-type but goes to what a submissive wants and needs in their relationship. Career, lifestyle, and background can be an important part of what makes a connection click and grow but should never be used as a measuring stick for who is or who is not a Dominant.

There is the old saying “Daddy knows best” and while every Dominant is going to believe they know what is best for their submissive, they are not infallible. That’s right, even the greatest and best D-types are going to make mistakes, missteps, and flat out screw up. No doubt if you look around the interwebs a little you will find those who believe that dominance is faultless but do not let yourself be sold any of that poppycock. To me, one of the hallmarks of a leader is the ability to admit errors coupled with the skill of learning from them. A Dominant should never be afraid to admit a mistake, own it, as well as be able to share with their submissive what they have learned when they pulled a boner (always great when you can sneak in a boner reference). In today’s world where nothing is ever anyone’s fault, even car insurance is ‘no fault’, being able to recognize, admit and learn from mistakes is a skill that a Dominant must possess.

Dominance is also not cockiness and does not let over-confidence pass itself off as a form of dominance. Just like every human, every D-type has insecurities and fears (If you are curious about one of mine, just ask me about Shirley Lake express). Dominance is self-effacing because life and this lifestyle can humble you in a second. Confidence is speaking softly while insecurity/cockiness is loud, brash and just obnoxious. So do not let yourself be fooled by those who speak loudly and be wary of the quiet Dominant’s big stick (although that could be fun).

One of those little internet ditties that pop up is a saying or a comment about how one look from a Dominant can tell their submissive a million things. While I do believe that this can be built to, D-types are not minded readers. I know personally that I am not the best at picking up subtle hints submissives are famous for dropping and sometimes I know I need that hint dropped on me like a cartoon character standing under a falling piano! Every relationship from the most vanilla to the kinkiest of lifestyle requires communication. Dialog and investment in each other are what allows a couple to share a million things with just one look. Please do not expect a Dominant to read your mind but communicate so as the relationship builds a look can go from sharing one thought to being able to share a million and one with a glance.

I live in a part of the world where winter doesn’t mean sunny, mid 60’s and the occasional chance of rain. Winter here can be brutally cold, snow falls several inches in an hour, and driving can get intense. One of the hazards of winter driving is a nasty thing called black ice which if you have not had the joy of experiencing it, let me tell you quickly about it. It is when the road has a transparent layer of ice covering it and no matter how observant you are, it cannot be seen. When you hit black ice, it does not matter if you going slower than a tortoise or racing like a hare, nor if you have the latest all-wheel-drive SUV or a trusty car equipped with winter tires the ice will take your vehicle where it wants and how it wants. You are simply along for the ride. Now, this might not seem like it has anything to do with the lifestyle but it is a great metaphor because a Dominant should have their life together before they look to add a submissive partner but life is just like that patch of black ice. Just when you think everything is fine and you are driving down the road, surprise! Dominants are not immune to those black ice in life moments. If you are a submissive and believe that coupling with a Dominant partner will cause life to a beautiful walk in the park where it is sunny and warm every day, know that life does not work like that. Everyone will have patches of black ice when life slides out of control. In fact, it is those times when even the most Domly of Dominants will need to lean on their submissive. Please remember that dominance and control do go hand in hand, life will always hand out those moments when things slide out of control.

There is a famous quote by Marilyn Monroe that says “I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”. Often times this quote is used by submissives but it is equally true for Dominants. There are times in everyone’s life when they will be impatient, make mistakes, not fully in control and a handful. It is important to remember that Dominants are not mythical creatures of perfection but flawed humans doing the best we can journeying through life.

.

©LHS2019


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


HiddenGardener 67M

1/20/2019 1:52 pm

Uniformitarianism is a myth. None of us are immutable. I know women are always pictured as a biological mass of inconsistent impulses, but it is the human condition for both sexes. So many factors. We get tired. We get sick. We fight wars within ourselves, “Oh mind is at war” King Arthur quipped. We ARE moody. No one is horny 24/7/365. Life is a series of ebb and flow. We have good days and then we have days where nothing seems work.

I suppose to understand and accept the modality of life is to have reached some level of maturity.

In looking for an age-gap relationship, one must allow for immaturity. You are naive if not stupid not to.

In a FWB or an Affair relationship, you have to allow for disappointment. You will be disappointed when they don’t show and you don’t hear from them right away. However, there will be times when things come up. Hopefully, with patience, it will be explained. And there will be miscommunication and misunderstandings.

The best man is at best…just a man. The best dom will have days when he needs encouragement and he will need strengthening.

So it is fluid, just like life.


CawintShard 68M

1/18/2019 11:23 pm

That image is mesmerizing.


hermang67 56M
830 posts
1/18/2019 9:10 am

this really says it all.... Dominants and submissive are PEOPLE.... have the same abilities failings and mental states as all other people do


likesmatureones 55M

1/18/2019 3:40 am

Wait your saying brice wayne isnt a dominant...but i just bought the 12 inch bat dildo from amazon


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
1/18/2019 3:12 am

Thank You, Everyone, for Your feedback. I really enjoyed this piece as well.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


Satyr_Mich 67M

1/17/2019 9:38 pm

Besides congratulating you on a well composed and crafted article, I would like to add one aspect that was brought to mind while reading what you posted.

People learn more from their mistakes than from their successes ( I have found to be often the case ) and yes the communications need to be treated as a work in progress, but like any construction of wood or cement, it has to have a solid foundation from which to build upon.

If there is not ample opportunities for communications to both share and correct misunderstandings, then any attempt at a new relationship is greatly hindered if not destroyed by the unforeseen bump in the road of life.

Again a great read, and appreciate your sharing .

Wm


Masters_sl_a_v_e 55F
127 posts
1/17/2019 9:16 pm

It is very true and can happen at the drop of a hat. I have experienced this. Time does not stop. It continues, just as each of our journeys do. These moments in our lives can strengthen our bonds to each other or they can tear us apart. It is how we handle what has been given to us. It allows us to share and know that we are supportive of each other which creates a strong bond between those who share in these moments.

It goes back to the teaching of mutual respect, trust and entrustment of one another.

Life will never be easy. It can be made easier to deal with when you have the love and support of those most dearest, nearest and cherished by each of you and are reciprocated.

Thank you for writing this.


charlesmartel0 59M

1/17/2019 6:11 pm

Robin! To the Bat-dungeon!


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
1/17/2019 4:40 pm

Interesting piece.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”



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