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QueenSassy66 57F
35 posts
12/31/2018 10:30 am
"Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's wall is ablaze.


"Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's
wall is ablaze."
-- Horace

In this lifestyle, it is my thought that we not only have a need to look out for our own safety, but also help in guarding the safety of others.

By this, I do not mean that we that we are necessarily responsible for the safety of others than the ones we are with, but more that we have a responsibility to our BDSM community to present education on the matter of safety.

We cannot force anyone to learn safety or to be safe. It is a personal choice each time we meet, play, or simply gather in life, or in BDSM. However, with the coming of online, it makes being a predator so much easier. It takes little to talk the talk of any lifestyle. It takes a great deal more to walk it and live it.

It is easy to allow our bodies and our hearts to over rule common sense when the need to submit or to Dominate is so strongly pressing us forward.

Submissives have asked over and over in the past--"But won't my Dominant be offended if I ask for references?" ,"Isn't it a sign that I don't trust my Dominant if I ask to see a negative HIV test?" Their comments have run the gamut--"I trust my Dominant totally, I do not need a safe person.", "My Dominant says if I need safe calls, then I do not trust him/her."

I beg to differ!!! In my opinion, a Dominant's first responsibility is the safety and well being of his submissive. This includes physical, emotional and mental well being. His concern for the her well being should lead him to enforce a strict safety policy. He should be free with the information she seeks. And might I add....if the trust has built to the point of a private meeting, the Dominant should be willing to give her his personal information as well.

Safety is a two way street. People are not safe simply because they are male. I encourage both Dom/Dommes and submissives to require information and blood work of their partners, as well as protection for at least the first 6 months.

**My own practice on safety: when I have someone here My guy is usually at work,he will text Me first and if I dont answer ( within a reasonable time,as I could be in the middle of something I just cant stop doing) he calls Me if I dont answer he knows there is something wrong. I tell My submisses/slaves that he will be doing that and I have to answer it,if they dont understand that,RED FLAG. I also aware of body fluids that cant help but leak,its a uncontrollable reaction,so knowing about STD's is important,I wear gloves sometimes anyway,it adds to the scene usually**

charlesmartel0 59M

12/31/2018 1:05 pm

Trust is the axis from which all else radiates. It's unreasonable to demand total trust pre-assembled from the outset. It must be built. Either party can bring a disease, or bad intent. I want my sub/slave to trust me, and I'll give her any reason she needs to do so.



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