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infinitepoetess 54F
6427 posts
6/15/2020 3:16 pm
The Social Conundrum



It seems people have forgotten social graces in public. It is my guess that all it took was a pandemic and rioting in the streets to seal the deal of the long awaited exodus from society's norm. I mean we have seen the Karen's of the world losing their shit in racial rages and others losing their marbles day by day...

I went to my first social in Denver and it was surreal. Perhaps it is merely a social distancing and social changes growing pain...Or at least that's all I hope was the issue. Not one person besides the owner and the DM spoke to me in an hour and a half. The attendees were all huddled together in little cliquish groups with not a smile to give or a hello to offer. I left and reminisced on my way home about my very first dungeon visit in NC and how the people there were like coming home to a family I had never known.

Let's hope this was just an off night and I can return one day to find a new family. Although, there is something to be said for southern hospitality and I am hoping that my old family in NC aren't the only ones with some hospitality left in them.

But, it does lend to the question of whether we will all ever return to normalcy of any sort in social structures? What do you think? How would you react?

Song addition for this post
People's Parties/Same Situation - Joni Mitchell


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/15/2020 3:17 pm

People's Parties
Joni Mitchell

All the people at this party
They've got a lot of style
They've got stamps of many countries
They've got passport smiles
Some are friendly
Some are cutting
Some are watching it from the wings
Some are standing in the centre
Giving to get something
Photo Beauty gets attention
Then her eye paint's running down
She's got a rose in her teeth
And a lampshade crown
One minute she's so happy
Then she's crying on someone's knee
Saying, laughing and crying
You know it's the same release
I told you when I met you
I was crazy
Cry for us all, Beauty
Cry for Eddie in the corner
Thinking he's nobody
And Jack behind his joker
And stone-cold Grace behind her fan
And me in my frightened silence
Thinking I don't understand
I feel like I'm sleeping
Can you wake me?
You seem to have a broader sensibility
I'm just living on nerves and feelings
With a weak and a lazy mind
And coming to people's parties
Fumbling deaf dumb and blind
I wish I had more sense of humor
Keeping the sadness at bay
Throwing the lightness on these things
Laughing it all away
Laughing it all away
Laughing it all away


drmgirl622 68F  
25889 posts
6/15/2020 3:23 pm

I hope it's just the sign of the times and life can resume to at least somewhat normal.


ARomanticSadist 54M
1298 posts
6/15/2020 3:33 pm

If I was a 'regular' attendee I would have at least greeted you Infini.

It is only polite to welcome new people to a group.

I have not been to a munch/slosh in almost 10 years because of the bullshit cliques and politics, and quite frankly, they are made up of mostly couples, so not many singles there and if women are, everyone else is on them like sprinkles on a donut!

I prefer to keep to myself the first one or two times I have gone, and just try to get a vibe from the people.


DancingDom 74M
22476 posts
6/15/2020 4:01 pm

The last munch I went to was about 5 years ago. It was a munch group i was not a regular member of. I had moved to Wisconsin and frankly, was too busy with work to go with regularity go to anything. It was a pretty cold group. I was an outsider. I never went back.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


slaveforyou365 63M  
4488 posts
6/15/2020 5:06 pm



Slave rick


alwaysassertive 63M

6/15/2020 6:56 pm

sounds like a bunch of pussies...nothing like someone saying hello... perhaps you should consider yourself lucky. I'm used to managing a team so I'm generally more outgoing and I would have approached them. Being a dominant male. I have more options available. I would have interacted before leaving. If someone hasn't spoken to you in 20 minutes then its time to go. . I'm not going to stay where I'm not wanted. You were a new guest and their behavior was demonstrative as to how welcome you were. I'll walk over and talk to anyone without any preconceptions or expectations except for friendly conversation. I would carefully reflect on the events of that night before going back. First impressions do mean a lot.


grywolf2 73M
3026 posts
6/15/2020 7:40 pm

What a shame. In your last post, you were so positive about the prospects of this meeting.
Having never been to one of these gatherings I was looking forward to your telling of the events.
Is that a pic of the place? I would have imagined a larger room.


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/15/2020 9:41 pm

    Quoting ARomanticSadist:
    If I was a 'regular' attendee I would have at least greeted you Infini.

    It is only polite to welcome new people to a group.

    I have not been to a munch/slosh in almost 10 years because of the bullshit cliques and politics, and quite frankly, they are made up of mostly couples, so not many singles there and if women are, everyone else is on them like sprinkles on a donut!

    I prefer to keep to myself the first one or two times I have gone, and just try to get a vibe from the people.
I agree ! It's just called manners for goodness sake


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/15/2020 9:42 pm

    Quoting DancingDom:
    The last munch I went to was about 5 years ago. It was a munch group i was not a regular member of. I had moved to Wisconsin and frankly, was too busy with work to go with regularity go to anything. It was a pretty cold group. I was an outsider. I never went back.
I can see why. Im going to give it a go on a gateway night and see what happens


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/15/2020 9:58 pm

    Quoting alwaysassertive:
    sounds like a bunch of pussies...nothing like someone saying hello... perhaps you should consider yourself lucky. I'm used to managing a team so I'm generally more outgoing and I would have approached them. Being a dominant male. I have more options available. I would have interacted before leaving. If someone hasn't spoken to you in 20 minutes then its time to go. . I'm not going to stay where I'm not wanted. You were a new guest and their behavior was demonstrative as to how welcome you were. I'll walk over and talk to anyone without any preconceptions or expectations except for friendly conversation. I would carefully reflect on the events of that night before going back. First impressions do mean a lot.
Yes I thought of all these points too. Than you for your input


jenny14 75T  
90125 posts
6/15/2020 10:00 pm

poetess

That is VERY sad! Even with distancing, we can talk and be polite....

I hope the next one is better...


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


JohnnyLightning 65M  
9554 posts
6/15/2020 11:38 pm

It's a shame that people don't extend the hand of hospitality. Perhaps the turnout is a sign of this pandemic time and not the mainstream.

Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/16/2020 5:58 am

    Quoting drmgirl622:
    I hope it's just the sign of the times and life can resume to at least somewhat normal.
I remain ever hopeful


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/16/2020 5:59 am

    Quoting  :

WOG!


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/16/2020 6:01 am

    Quoting grywolf2:
    What a shame. In your last post, you were so positive about the prospects of this meeting.
    Having never been to one of these gatherings I was looking forward to your telling of the events.
    Is that a pic of the place? I would have imagined a larger room.
It is not, privacy rules and such...
I have been to a lot of parties, socials, etc over the years. As explained my first club I visited will always remain my favorite. The people were just so warm and welcoming, but they were all southern and full of hospitality. Not sure I will ever find such again, and thats ok


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/16/2020 6:01 am

    Quoting jenny14:
    poetess

    That is VERY sad! Even with distancing, we can talk and be polite....

    I hope the next one is better...
Me too Jenny


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/16/2020 6:02 am

    Quoting JohnnyLightning:
    It's a shame that people don't extend the hand of hospitality. Perhaps the turnout is a sign of this pandemic time and not the mainstream.
Yes am staying hopeful


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/16/2020 6:08 am

    Quoting  :

Cuddles, hugs, squeezes,....gropes Thank you babe


lighthouse4297 56F
1680 posts
6/17/2020 5:32 am

Hello N, I went to a social here about two years ago and had the exact experience you did. I have not been back. It left me feeling...... I don't think I can find the word. All my best L


ARomanticSadist 54M
1298 posts
6/17/2020 3:59 pm

    Quoting lighthouse4297:
    Hello N, I went to a social here about two years ago and had the exact experience you did. I have not been back. It left me feeling...... I don't think I can find the word. All my best L
That sucks LH!

Of all the groups in the world, I would expect ours to be more welcoming since we are so marginalized. And I really am shocked that the you and infini had such suck-ass experiences. Usually, the women are the ones who get all the greetings and the guys are looked at like, "Oh another one, meh"


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/19/2020 3:14 am

    Quoting lighthouse4297:
    Hello N, I went to a social here about two years ago and had the exact experience you did. I have not been back. It left me feeling...... I don't think I can find the word. All my best L
Im so sorry, seems people would be more inclusive, but then look at our nation and racism


Lord_Zephyr 60M

6/23/2020 4:50 am

While I do feel that there may be some local aspect of hospitality (In lived in NC for a while too), it really does come down to what leadership instills into the culture of a group. Yes, your host and the DM did approach you but, that that only indicates that those leaders posses a minimum of social decorum and expectation.
When I lead a local munch group, I always made sure we started off the evening in some sort of group interaction.
It could be some sort of topic on the lifestyle or even just...Cards Against Humanity.
After a few rounds about the room, things would take off on their own. It's a comfort thing even for those who have been in the lifestyle for some time.
There would always be that point in which people would start taking up conversation with those sitting next to them or even move to the other from across the room.
I would sit back in that moment and smile to myself that I had accomplished what I intended...lead.


infinitepoetess 54F
3499 posts
6/23/2020 5:06 am

    Quoting Lord_Zephyr:
    While I do feel that there may be some local aspect of hospitality (In lived in NC for a while too), it really does come down to what leadership instills into the culture of a group. Yes, your host and the DM did approach you but, that that only indicates that those leaders posses a minimum of social decorum and expectation.
    When I lead a local munch group, I always made sure we started off the evening in some sort of group interaction.
    It could be some sort of topic on the lifestyle or even just...Cards Against Humanity.
    After a few rounds about the room, things would take off on their own. It's a comfort thing even for those who have been in the lifestyle for some time.
    There would always be that point in which people would start taking up conversation with those sitting next to them or even move to the other from across the room.
    I would sit back in that moment and smile to myself that I had accomplished what I intended...lead.
Yes, I feel what you say is correct. Leadership sets the tone of social structure. It sounds like you are dedicated to making your group welcoming, and I do appreciate that as a submissive entering a new group especially.
Maybe I should visit NM


Lord_Zephyr 60M

6/24/2020 4:07 am

    Quoting infinitepoetess:
    Yes, I feel what you say is correct. Leadership sets the tone of social structure. It sounds like you are dedicated to making your group welcoming, and I do appreciate that as a submissive entering a new group especially.
    Maybe I should visit NM
Maybe you will


infinitepoetess replies on 6/24/2020 6:11 am:
Possibilities....such a tantalizing word, isn't it?

Lord_Zephyr 60M

6/24/2020 4:46 pm

Hmmm...more than tantalizing. The word itself includes the full gambit of sensuality within it's very diphthongs like...two hungry mouths? First a graceful pucker...then the hissing of breath being stolen...then the lavish play of the tongue against teeth and finally...just the pronounced bite of teeth to each other daring the moment for more.
Yes, I think I like this word.


infinitepoetess replies on 6/24/2020 7:22 pm:
I think I like it even more now

JoElspanstp 70M

8/5/2020 11:08 am

People should lend a hand.



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