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Oops I did it again! Well its not exactly the Britney Spears song, but i am only 5 days into the New Year and I have sustained another accident. I love my Master. I am trying to embrace all the things he loves as well. One of those things he loves is golf. I have never golfed before. It doesn't seem hard to do. Yet, on our first golf game together I was ridiculously bad and ended up just driving the golf cart. Now mind you i am very competitive and I want to be good enough to occasionally accompany him on a golf course. So i was thrilled that he wanted to take me to a driving range, called Top Golf. I dont know if you have ever been to one, but it is great. There are targets to aim for and an electronic scoring machine. It is very cool. Add some decent food and adult beverages and its a good time. As usual I digress, sorry my ADD is working overtime today. So yesterday it was a beautiful day and we went in the afternoon. The place was packed, but we got a bay and Master started working on my golf swing. At Top golf, it shoots out a ball you put it on a tee and you swing away. So I have two different strokes a slice and a hook neither makes for a very good golf game. However, after a little coaching from the big guy, i was actually getting pretty good at getting the ball in the green target. Now it doesnt make me ready for the WPA, but i think i could actually get off the tee far enough that it would only take 2 shots to masters one. So I was getting cocky and I was also drinking too much. I decided to change to the big wood and see if i could really hit one a long way. I set the ball on the tee, I was doing my very best "Bill Murray Golf Narrator Imitation," and I took the big swing with the club. I hooked the ball really hard that it struck the ball machine and the ricochet hit me in my right eye. The ball also continued to hit another person in the next bay. I now have a huge black eye that stretches from my nose to my ear. Riding home with an ice pack on my eye and listening to my Master tease me about it and then just the occasional giggle was a struggle. Sigh, well at least I didnt break anything. Stay kinky my friends. Jenna PS. I heard a great joke. OP: Do you ever help Dan before he goes golfing? Me: Yes I kiss his balls for luck. OP: I bet that makes his putter flutter. |
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1/6/2019 11:40 am |
Please let all of Chicagoland know next time you go so we can gear up with protection and what you LMAO it could have been worst, you could have let go of the club and watch that fly
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PS. I heard a great joke. OP: Do you ever help Dan before he goes golfing? Me: Yes I kiss his balls for luck. OP: I bet that makes his putter flutter. This is actually a take off on an actual conversation between Johnny Carson and Arnold Palmer's wife on the 'Tonight Show' many years ago. It went something like this: Johnny: Do you do anything before a tournament to bring him (Arnold) luck? Arnold's wife: Yes, I kiss his balls. Johnny: I bet that makes his putter sputter. I may not have the exact verbiage, but that is a very close proximity. If I remember right, Arnold's wife did not see the humor in Johnny's response. Make Women Female Again
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Thank goodness I don't golf. At this rate, you might be dangerous in Beer Pong. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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1/6/2019 6:52 pm |
i think i have become ditsy. I never use to have accidents. Perhaps i am distracted by Master and a regular sex life?
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You should try going to a place with a golf simulator . I learned to play golf there . Most of the room is padded and nothing in front of you but the screen. A lot of practice just learning how to hit the ball and swing correctly .
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Well Jenna, you do manage to have the most interesting accidents. This one was entertaining as well....not so much for you. But really, it is hard to stay one like this. 
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1/13/2019 7:55 am |
Remember that Johnny Carson moment. 
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