Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

posts

Member Deleted Post


This post has been deleted by

theowner2020 64M  
1207 posts
5/30/2020 2:10 am

You're giving me a headache...lol


lwbtmboy 59M
661 posts
5/30/2020 2:11 am

You did a great job


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
5/30/2020 2:47 am

This isn't a game. As I've stated so many times I've lost count. For me, I've tried to use the platform I have to help get out information on the lifestyle. I often feel it's well-received and that is what makes me feel good. I also feel the internet is a great tool to do just that. with the occasional snarky piece thrown in for fun. I made some really great friends here and I'm blessed to know them. They have broadened my horizons on this lifestyle and made me a better sub/ masochist. And you darling girl, are one of them . Thank you for this piece and for another great topic, and welcome back.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


readyforyounow12 56M

5/30/2020 2:53 am

Just someone that is as Kinky as me !


rosaenaluin 65F
10834 posts
5/30/2020 2:55 am

,
Yes!
This is a great writing.
To learn to understand the basics, so to say...

because, there are sooo many nuances....
And soo many personal nuances, too!

The psychological aspects are far more intens, or deeper....
Thank you! 👍😘


jenny14 75T  
90121 posts
5/30/2020 3:47 am

sub

I think you explained this stuff very effectively

I agree! We should decide what we are and communicate it clearly eg I make it obvious that I am not really in meeting others unless we have communicated and established a common interest ( As you know , I would love to meet you and Sir as friends )


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


brandygirasol 54T
9369 posts
5/30/2020 5:19 am

Well I've always been honest that I dont live the lifestyle 24/7 and YES I'm a masochist sexually who likes to be told what to do and likes rough sex and I like a sadistic partner- not a FAKE who needs to be coaxed ... the balancing act is I dont want HIM too sadistic because I'm a sissified masochist with a low tolerance for PAIN ..... On the other hand I expect the DOM to pretty much ignore me whining about it and whip my ass anyway!!!


DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
5/30/2020 5:44 am

"I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam" - Popeye

Now get me mys spinach, floggers and olive oil.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


MissLadywood 51F
6195 posts
5/30/2020 7:05 am


You have done a wonderful job of explaining the differences. This is why i need others like you, i'm rubbish at it hah
Tops and bottoms i think is a way to explain and let others know you are into the kink side rather than the D/s S/m. Still things to be learned, safety to be observed and honesty and respect is still needed.

Life So Short, The Craft So Long To Learn


drmgirl622 68F  
25884 posts
5/30/2020 7:12 am

This requires an honest look into oneself to understand the niche' that works for us. For some, like myself, it took time to reconcile those dark thoughts that tickled the psyche.....


JohnnyLightning 65M  
9548 posts
5/30/2020 11:26 am

Nice post. There are too many wanna-be never-be angry and inexperienced men who call themselves Dom's just because they saw the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. Those guys are dangerous and are not fit for the lifestyle.

Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


aHedonist 51M
7510 posts
5/30/2020 3:32 pm

World peace, but I'll settle for a blowjob and a sammich.

Seriously: I dislike the notion that you can take a human being and pigeon hole them into boxes, which I guess is because I've never really fitted any of the regular boxes too well myself. I understand the importance of it as a generalisation but too often I see it taken too literally as though theres a strict guidebook for actions unbecoming a insert your desired role here... in my view "they're more what you'd call guidelines than actual rules" (to steal a quote.) And then there's growth, and experience... people change... start out looking for one thing and wind up somewhere totally different years later. And interpersonal dynamics are so variable as well: I have a Domme friend and yeah.... she's the textbook Domme and always has been, except with this one dude. Does that make her any less of a Domme?

(Just checkin' in before I blow off into the ether again, good to see ya, regards to your Sir xx)


Mskitty1986 37F
83 posts
5/30/2020 5:32 pm

Preach!!! Yes ... the psychological side to bdsm (the best stuff that you never see in porn) is what it's all about. And you've perfectly articulated the difference between bdsm and kinky sex in this post. Your Sir is a lucky man to have such a genuine sub both in the psychological aspects as well as the sexual.

I do believe you often follow the blog of my sub Sinperdition and have seen me comment there. We often talk about how many folks dont understand the psychological aspects which is a shame as that is the most special and fulfilling part of the dynamic between dominant and submissive which I've tried to capture and explain on my profile.

Myself and piggy both chat with and enlighten other less experienced people offering them advise, guidance and information to either help, inspire, guide others to understand the dynamics and what is is they seek.
We too are by no means experts and everything is only based on our own personal experiences within the scene (my experience more vast than his). However I've noted there have been an influx of people here who misunderstand the difference between a bdsm dynamic and just kinky sex and I think those of us with real life experience need to continue to guide and educate others to ensure bdsm play remains the structured, safe, consensual and sane dynamic it has always been.

Thank you for this blog post and although I'm not your dominant please accept this praise from me as a domme to a sub.

A little message to Sir who will see this post-
I'm very impressed with the understanding and knowledge of your sub, I think the way she articulated this post is both concise and direct without coming accross as bigoted or patronizing was wonderful. A subs behaviour is a reflection on the dominant he or she serves. And she serves as a great reflection on yourself. From one dominant to another I'm sending you a vast amount of respect.

And to the both of you,
Stay safe, stay positive and stay strong through these difficult times.
Regards,
Ms Kitty x


NoNonsense_Dom 70M  
1517 posts
5/30/2020 6:34 pm

Beautiful ~J~ you are so right about it being tricky to explain things regarding this life, and because of the way we develop and experience things, the dynamics continually change, albeit in minute ways, but that is what growth is all about. For me, I need to be inside the head of my partner, I need to know them, their emotions and desires, as well, if not better than they know of themselves, for my experiences to be fulfilling.

Far too many think that bdsm is about sex, when sex is only a small part of it, and for a lot of scenes, sex doesn't even come into play, yet both partners walk away happy, content and very satisfied. Just to be able to cuddle and hold your partner at the end of an activity can be so euphoric.

Honesty with self and with partners is essential, and you can't do a 'Rocky & Bullwinkle' magic act (nothing up the sleeves), because you will be found out in the first 60 seconds and your credibility will be shot to pieces forever. People need to read, research, and ask questions before they start to 'play' in this sandpit of life, because this life does have some very real dangers to it.

I spend a lot of time on another site these days, and I am finding that there are many there who are trying to find themselves and how they relate to the world of kink.



Become a member to comment on this blog