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MustangMaggie 55F  
46 posts
12/30/2018 5:01 pm
To All Doms - Communication Beyond


Hello Sirs,
I met a Dom this weekend. He seemed so perfect. But....He does not like to text or call his submissive(s). WTF How are we suppose to get to know each other and him to mind fuck me if he does not keep in touch on a daily basis?? He says a "true submissive" is always ready when her Master wants her. Seriously??

Please tell me your thoughts on communication between sessions and meets my dear Sirs out there.

-Your Maggie

unicornlover6969 34M
4 posts
12/30/2018 5:15 pm

Seems a bit odd, I can understand no phone call at the very start but after a few days of communicating there should be a stronger connection. Not necessarily regular as it's also fun to make your sub wait for that contact.

I think you're just not compatible which is fine, there are plenty of doms out!


100mph_tongue 64M
1565 posts
12/30/2018 5:21 pm

Maggie for as many of us out here in the wilderness, there are also as many peculiarities. Why he wishes that, mmm, maybe he has a set life that he does not want anyone else having an impact on, maybe he is married and does not want his wife to find out, maybe he has had a high maintainance wife/sub/whore/slave in the past, and doesn't have the patience. There are many reasons. You want to learn about him that doesn't involve play, then tell him that and that apart from play sessions, if the distance is not too great, that you get together for lunch or coffee once or twice a week. Remember though, he is the Dom and has set the rules, you just have to be able to show that you can live with those rules if their relaxed slightly, and why.


eliza1234 44F  
1292 posts
12/30/2018 5:25 pm

I apologise for commenting as I’m not a Sir, but alarm bells would be ringing loudly if someone I met didn’t want to communicate with me.

Firstly, I’d wonder why. Is he married and doesn’t want his wife to see text alerts flash up on his phone?

And secondly, in any relationship, and perhaps more importantly D/s ones, communication is vital. I can understand this not being daily as life can be busy but very regular is a must. A true Dom would understand this surely?


hermang67 51M  
675 posts
12/30/2018 6:19 pm

Communication is paramount.... paramount .... No relationship can exsist without it


MustangMaggie replies on 12/30/2018 6:26 pm:
Thank you! I so agree!

MustangMaggie 55F  
21 posts
12/30/2018 6:26 pm

Thank you so much for your responses.
This Dom I met is divorced with three children. He has told me he only seeks married woman. He plays a Bull with five couples. Sometimes the husband is involved, sometimes not. It pleases him when he can make couples more intimate with each other because he has helped them open up.
My husband would not be involved. This is my submissive journey. The Dom I match with will be the only Dom I see and I hoped I would be his only submissive and focus on our connection. When this Dom lacked in communication, it seems that he just wants this casual. That's not what I want. I sent him a text this morning and I have not received a response. I really don't have patience for being rude.


DancingDom 69M  
11515 posts
12/30/2018 6:37 pm

    Quoting eliza1234:
    I apologise for commenting as I’m not a Sir, but alarm bells would be ringing loudly if someone I met didn’t want to communicate with me.

    Firstly, I’d wonder why. Is he married and doesn’t want his wife to see text alerts flash up on his phone?

    And secondly, in any relationship, and perhaps more importantly D/s ones, communication is vital. I can understand this not being daily as life can be busy but very regular is a must. A true Dom would understand this surely?
I suspect he does not want to be contacted, unless he does the contacting at times when it will not distract or detract him from other involvements. Communication has to be two way and be open. No restriction if it is to work long term

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


100mph_tongue 64M
1565 posts
12/30/2018 6:57 pm

Unfortunately Maggie I think you have discovered another selfish taker rather than someone who is prepared to give as well. It has taken some time to find this guy, I hope it doesn't take as long for the next candidate to step up to the plate.


MustangMaggie 55F  
21 posts
12/30/2018 7:06 pm

My Dom friends, thank you so much for your mentoring advice. I will continue my search for my match.
- Your Maggie


100mph_tongue 64M
1565 posts
12/30/2018 7:22 pm

Take care girl and have a Happy and Safe New Year, and please pass these wishes onto your very supportive hubby. May 2019 be the year you get that worthwhile Dom dear girl.


MustangMaggie replies on 12/30/2018 7:28 pm:
Thank you Sir

joffa99 46M
2 posts
12/30/2018 7:23 pm

You have nailed it unfortunately, mm
He is playing the field and you are at the bottom.....


steelcager 55M
788 posts
12/30/2018 8:31 pm

Hi Maggie,

All who have written have made valid points.

There needs to be communication at first to establish the groundwork of the relationship. There could be several reasons for not wanting to communicate, but he needs to inform you if it is temporary or a regular occurrence. In my case, my communication can be during certain times as I have three children living with me, one young adult and two pre-teens. My time to myself is limited. Perhaps he has some similar situation with either children or a significant other.

You need to determine if he is worthy of your submission, and he needs to know if you will satisfy his needs. This can only happen with communication. If part of his dom style is ignoring his sub as part of punishment, it's not something that he should be doing as you do not yet of that kind of relationship. Truthfulness and trust are paramount.

In my case, I like to communicate at first, discreetly by e-mail, communicate our kinks and vanilla lives, getting comfortable with each other...that way a first lunch or coffee meeting will be more at ease. I think you need to exercise caution here.


CawintShard 63M
1347 posts
12/31/2018 2:02 am

"Where there's a whip, there's a way."


Jag_60 60M  
973 posts
12/31/2018 2:04 am

Communication allows for fluid information to be exchanged. He should be rallying to contact you at every opportunity if for nothing else to let you know his cock is homesick and that he misses you. Right now he has allow confusion to dominate your thoughts which makes your ability to dutifully follow task and instructions in a constant state of flux, instead of providing you guidance and reassurance to cultivate your submission...


arero 62M
445 posts
12/31/2018 1:17 pm

In a word - SELFISH. If I had to expand on that I'd add another word beginning with W and rhyming with someone who runs a bank.

The earth shall inherit the meek.


arero 62M
445 posts
12/31/2018 1:19 pm

    Quoting CawintShard:
    "Where there's a whip, there's a way."
Now there's a quotable quote.

The earth shall inherit the meek.


MustangMaggie 55F  
21 posts
1/1/2019 6:52 am

Happy New year to all my Dom friends and to yours!


vkindmaster 51M  
2955 posts
1/6/2019 7:15 am

Without communication between meets there is no relationship only scening. This can work for some people but clearly not for you. I suspect you are not short of credible offers....


MustangMaggie replies on 1/14/2019 5:19 pm:
Actually...I am.


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