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Question to you about D/s relationship and vanilla side....
Posted:Dec 3, 2019 11:54 am
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2019 5:54 am
1135 Views

I am interested, who else there is in a D/s relationship where the other person is also your bf/gf/husband/wife?

I ask because (and I could be completely off the mark here) I am seeing a percentage of people on here who keep their BDSM side away from their vanilla life. It could be they don’t want to see their partner as anything other than equal. There are lots of other reasons as well of course. Please note I am not here to judge anyone all. I have had previous subs who were married so this isn’t about judgement, purely an inquisitive question.

I am in a relationship with my Master. To the outside world, we are bf and gf, and we seem to have fallen into our roles very naturally. I am not silly and know it isn’t going to be easy and probably lots of hard times ahead but what relationship is easy right?
So keen to hear people’s opinions on this. I get both sides of the argument. I know men who discovered BDSM long after they married and their wives haven’t had any interest. I also know people whose partners know about their kinky needs and allow they to satisfy them with others.

There isn’t a right answer here, because everyone is different so if you read someone’s comment and don’t agree, don’t be mean or judgemental, I’ll just delete the comment. Just accept it as someone else’s opinion.
17 Comments
Only the positives....
Posted:Dec 3, 2019 11:53 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2019 7:09 am
956 Views

So here is a post about why I love being a submissive. I feel I am too quick to focus on negative things so it will only be positives in this post.

Why do I love being a Sub then? Perhaps I am slightly old in my thinking’s however I want my man to lead the way, and guide through life. My Master is my King, my protector and pretty much my everything.

My Master and I have just spent a few days together. We had plans of nothing but sex and all things kinky. Nothing nature had other plans, but you know what, it was even better than i imaged (although my mouth and jaw certainly ache now from all the training). We spent the days getting to know each other away from the bedroom, I think we deepened our connection. It isn’t just about the physical act of sex, it is that deeper bond through knowing each other so incredibly well, being able to understand each other.

As a submissive, I love being able to utterly devote myself to my Master, and to have a man appreciate it. My Master has told he hasn’t had someone who have been so devoted to him before and it makes me bloody proud. I want to be the best he has ever had, I want to be unforgettable.

I am just the beginning of my journey with my Master, but I am so incredibly excited to see where it’ll lead. I am very much looking forward to seeing how I evolve as an owned submissive
1 comment
My Demon - Doubt
Posted:Nov 24, 2019 12:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2019 10:36 pm
1648 Views

I have a nasty little demon who rear its head at the most unexpected times. He is the DEVIL. And what does this demon make me do....doubt. Not just myself but also my incredible Master. I doubt my ability, my looks, my own judgment and worst of all, I doubt the most important man in my life. I need make it clear that my Master will not have done anything make feel like this, he treats like no other man has done before, with love, respect (as long as I’m behaving) and compassion.

I can take things so personally. For example, if my Master tells what he likes and asks do something which seems obvious but I didn’t realise, I can beat myself up for days for not knowing. How could I be so stupid and not know exactly what he wanted and what he thought 0% of the time - silly right! No one can know exactly what the other person is thinking all the time. I also find that in a D/s relationship (and probably in all relationships) you are both constantly growing and learning, and isn’t that exciting! It would be ridiculously boring if we stayed exactly where we started.

I have say though that with every day I spend with my Master, my doubt gets smaller and smaller. I would trust him with my life, and hope he knows we could do the same. I know it isn’t something which is going disappear overnight, I will have work on it most days, I need fight the battle.
3 Comments
Love, Honesty & Judgement within a BDSM relationship
Posted:Nov 15, 2019 1:20 pm
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2019 6:41 am
2055 Views

One thing I want to make very clear in this blog is that all these things are MY thoughts. It is how I see and think about things…it doesn’t mean it is the way I think everyone else should be. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions so before I get a barrage of comments telling me I am wrong, or I should do things this way or that way, or that this isn’t acceptable in the BDSM world, just remember that there are no rules or laws about how 2 people conduct a relationship. We are all too quick to judge how others live their lives…so if you do want to make a snarky comment or criticise me, go ahead, say your worst because it will have absolutely no impact on me.

So on with the post…. I like to show my Master every day that I love him. To me, just saying the words isn’t enough, I see it as my duty to show him. I will show it with an action like a photo or other words or even an emoji (he knows which one I am thinking about).

It is not my job to judge him, same way that he does not judge me. Our conversations are always open, and he can easily see when I am hiding something or not being truthful when I will be scolded. It is something I have struggled with my whole life. I have always thought that I needed to adapt to make myself more acceptable, irrespective of my own values and wants. I wanted to become the person I thought the man wanted, instead of being true to who I was and am as a human being. If you had read my first post, you will have already seen an example of this.

I started changing this mind set when I met my Master. He has a way to looking at me and talking to me which just makes me want to bare my soul to him…and you can’t hide, you can’t pretend, and you cannot but reveal your true self. And you know what, that is bloody scary! He love’s me, the whole me, it’s the good, the bad and the ugly. I have dark moments where I doubt myself, and him, and his feelings for me. He will not have done anything to make me feel like that but for some reason it happens, and he won’t stand for it. It is insulting for him so I need him to tell me exactly what he thinks. This always put me back on the straight and narrow and reminds me of my place in this world, which is his side.

I think love means different things to different people. I grew up believing in a Disney kind of love. It seemed polite and easy. The reality? It is even better than I thought. It means being truly accepted and being able to let yourself be vulnerable because you’re in your safe place. I have often told my Master that the safest and happiest place for me is in his arms, or just being as close to him as possible. I love him with all my heart and will do as much as I can to please him. In return, I get a Master who looks after me, loves me and makes me the happiest I have ever been.

These are just a few more of my thoughts 😊 As always comments welcome.
6 Comments
Exploring my Submission
Posted:Nov 11, 2019 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2019 1:01 am
2292 Views

My experience so far has been more on the Domme side. I was too nervous to explore my submissive side because there wasn’t someone I trusted enough. For me, being a Domme is about just using the man in front of me. I LOVE pussy worship, so any man with a tongue is useful to me. I can tell them exactly what to do, without being called pushy, or bruising the man’s ego as it would be seen in the vanilla world.

Roughly 2 months ago, I met someone who has completely changed my world. It was unexpected. I was seeing 3 people at the time (2 submissives and one semi-vanilla) but within about an hour of speaking, I knew this man was going to hugely important to me. I said goodbye to the other guys and focused all my energy on him. I hadn’t even met him yet and I was ready to submit to him. He lives in another country, but it didn’t feel like an obstacle. I cannot pinpoint what it was about him which has made me want to submit, he just seemed to see me for me, he accepted me for exactly who I am. He is an incredibly special person, and like no one I have been with before. He is incredibly dominant, without a single submissive bone in his body so I knew from the outset all my dominant urges needed to be ignored. If I am completely honest though, a lot of those urges disappeared as soon as I met him in person. The Domme side, as mentioned earlier, comes from the need to feel pleasure and be pleasured. My Master can bring the pleasure I crave without instruction, just his touch can send shivers through me.

Master has incredibly high standards, and why shouldn’t he? He is superior in every sense. He expects the upmost respect at all times which is also what he deserves.

Don’t get me wrong, I write as though he can do no wrong and I believe in everything he stands for however the more time we spend together, the more I see where our opinions may differ. Of course, I have some concerns, for example, I know he has a sadist side. To me, pain is a punishment and not to be enjoyed. I can take some pain, but I rarely get any pleasure from it. Does this mean I not be enough for him, and this side of him? Will he want to end things with me because I cannot fulfil the expectations he has.

Another side which he and I have spoken about is monogamy. I am very much of the opinion that if I am with him and he is with me, why would he want anyone else? Master has only really been in open relationships which is a concept I massively struggle with. What if he plays with someone else and falls hopelessly in love with them and I am forgotten? What if I am no longer going to be his main priority and what if that girl is thinner than me, prettier than me, can fuck better than me? I know that other people will be included in our relationship, through threesomes, gangbangs and other ideas we have discussed…but what about him with another female when I am not there? My Master does an incredible job of putting my mind at ease about this topic, but I also know it isn’t an unresolved issue. This is my issue as clearly the questions I have are more my insecurities. He is so patient with me!

So those are 2 points which show nothing is perfect but on the positive side, even with my concerns, the positive far outweigh potential concerns. Master is the first person who accepts all the love and devotion I have to offer. He appreciates it. He doesn’t judge me, he doesn’t make me feel silly for showing my emotions and most importantly he does not run away. Instead he showers me with his love, in his unique way. I feel safe, I feel loved, and I am even beginning to feel beautiful…possibly even sexy!

Think this is enough rambling for today 😊
10 Comments
My first blog - please be gentle
Posted:Nov 10, 2019 9:27 am
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2019 10:04 am
2981 Views

So here I am, looking start a blog. The main reason being is because I want share my journey and experience into this amazing kinky world. It has been quite a journey over the passed 2 years since I was introduced. I want to tell my story and share experiences.

So where did it even begin….well I don’t think I have the best introduction. It was through a man (lets call him Dickwad) who wanted a dominant woman, he made believe that I was suited for that role. I am not saying I am but reflecting on that time in my life, I was manipulated, used and moulded be someone else’s fantasy. I was so desperate be loved and needed that I let this individual turn into someone who he wanted, striping me of my own identity. Rather than wanting to explore and try things together, it was about him dictating how I should act, what I should wear and do…doesn’t make me sound like a Domme does it….but this was my experience and I allowed it to happen to almost a year. He would tell me exactly what he wanted and how a woman should dominate him, and I obeyed him. I was on a high thinking I was pleasing him, and I was getting pleasure because I was pleasing him.

It wasn’t until I met another couple on Alt (they know who they are!) that things started to change. Instantly they both saw I was being used and manipulated, they also instantly saw that I had a very strong submissive side, which I had never been able to admit before. I won’t go into the full story however long story short; I owe a lot to my friends who helped me through quite a painful point in my life but saying that, there is a silver lining. What this relationship did teach me was that I had found a world where it was ok for me to be truly embrace the feelings I had always been pushing down…that fantasy about having someone own your mind, body and soul, those feelings where your role is to serve and be served, that other fantasy about being cuffed and gagged and denied. The list could go on forever! Most importantly though, I had found a world where everything was accepted.

In the vanilla world, I was always single and was called all sorts of things – needy, possessive, full on, to name a few. Whenever I met someone, I would give them my all, I would literally offer not just my body but also my mind and soul to that person…unsurprisingly men ran away SO fast. I then was exploring Alt, and speaking to my friends (mentioned earlier) which made me realise how much I identified as a submissive. Saying that, I wasn’t ready to give up my Domme side, as actually I did really enjoy the fact that through this role, I was in complete control of my own pleasure, and the role of the man was to do everything in his power to please me.

I finally rid myself of Dickwad and fast forward year and half and I am the happiest I have every been. I am with an incredible man who is a best friend, boyfriend and Master. I am fully exploring my submissive side and cannot wait to see where life will take me. More to come about that!
Thanks for reading 😊 All comments welcome.
25 Comments

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