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aliljaded 48F  
4345 posts
3/15/2019 9:25 pm
Is it a want or a need.……….

One thing I’ve learned about myself over the years is I have a to be in control, to micromanage, because it seemed like everyone was always asking me to decide. My motto has evolved to “Better to do it myself, than wait 6 months for someone else to do it wrong anyway.”

Now that makes for a very interesting time for me as I wander through this new world of D/s. I understand the hierarchy: Subs needs….Doms needs……..Doms wants…….Subs want. So my question becomes: When is it a need vs a want? You see, in order for me to let go, really let go, I need to feel as though I have no choice left, that I am bound. I need the physical restraint to feel the dominance, without it, my head remains in control and my long-established habits keep the walls in place.

So, is it a need? Or a want? I do know, that the walls crumble faster when I am physically bound, my mind relinquishes control, my body relaxes. But, is it a need or a want? When I insist on restraints, am I topping from the bottom? When a scene doesn’t include physical restraints, I feel letdown……my motto reminds me why I should be the one in control. But, my heart aches……

So, again, I ask …….Is it a need or want when a submissive states a desire for physical restraints?

~Belfast 62


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


firstroissy 60M
478 posts
3/16/2019 3:56 pm

You said it yourself: "in order for me to let go, really let go, I need to feel as though I have no choice left"
So in that case, for it to happen, it is a need...
Of course, you may want it, that goes without saying...
But you need it in order to secede...


ina_scent 63F  
1758 posts
3/15/2019 11:32 pm

Ha .. so is it a need or a want when the sub has a desire...

A desire can be a need or a want ❤️ so desire cannot be the answer

Therefore , It must remain a question.

So, like Little Feat sang, are you Willing.

Willing is the correct answer.

You can only expand the mind so far before it implodes...


arero 62M
1077 posts
3/15/2019 9:43 pm

Needs are just more intense wants. Usually needs are expressed as a necessary prerequisite for another want. I want ice cream. Why? I just like it. I need to breathe. Why? Otherwise I'll die, and I want to keep living.

So the need to breathe is necessary to facilitate another want - the want to keep living.


aliljaded 48F  
1616 posts
3/15/2019 9:27 pm

I think it’s a desire..♥️❤️♥️

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”



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