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Five Safety Reminders
Posted:May 30, 2020 3:52 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2020 12:51 pm
1606 Views
Nowadays everyone has an excuse, a scapegoat, or something to blame when something goes wrong in their lives. While it is a pet peeve of mine when people pass the blame for their boners onto other things or people rather than just accepting responsibility, there is one area that everyone needs to own responsibility one hundred percent of the time and that is personal safety. Now there are tragic and horrid events that occur even when all the right safety measures are in place. These are the times when it is crossing paths with the wrong person at the exact wrong time. Sadly and far too often, especially in this lifestyle, people set aside their intuition, red flags, and safety protocols in pursuit of a relationship, love, or just good old-fashioned kinky fuckery. Now there are many articles, blog posts, and even books offering ways to stay safe, how to meet others and lower the risk of bad things happening but rather than write a post the length of War and Peace I just wanted to offer five simple reminders:

1. It takes time to build trust in a person. Even if they seem like they are the most wonderful and amazing creature to ever grace the third rock from the sun, still force yourself to take the time to build trust. The trust train is not a bullet train and it can never be rushed.

2. Keep things public and in the public’s knowledge. I am not saying you need to tell your family and vanilla friends that you are involved in the lifestyle, meeting someone of interest from said lifestyle but people do need to know who you are meeting, where you are meeting them, and you need to keep all of your interactions with them in safe public spaces. Even better, bring friends and make your first several interactions having fun as part of a group.

3. If you are traveling many a mile to meet a rumored amazing person, be even more vigilant. When you are making the arrangements for travel, make sure that you are the one booking your flights, hotel, rental car, and all that jazz. Do not be at the mercy of Mr. or Ms. Wonderful for any of this and please make sure you have a safe place to stay. Just a reminder, Mr. or Ms. Wonderful’s or their ‘friends’ abodes are NOT safe places.

4. Should you be involved in the lifestyle simply for the kinktastic bow-chicka-wow-wow, please make sure you know, understand, and are practicing safer sex.

5. If you see something, say something. Sometimes each of us can get caught up in the moment, the adventure, or just miss the forest because of one amazing tree and it is in those times we need a friend to remind us of what we are missing (AKA how doltish we are being). I believe part of being a friend is saying hard things, such as “hey stupid, pay attention to your safety”, when needed and if our friend rebuffs our advice, remember “You cannot save people, you can only love them” -Anais Nin.

There are thousands of more tips, ideas, and thoughts I could add to this but I am choosing to not turn this into a book or how-to guide. I want the message of this being that no one but yourself is responsible for your safety. While it is true that even the most safety-conscious people can sadly still have tragedy find them, most heartbreaking events can be prevented if the individual had stopped, taken a moment to think, and made their safety “job number one”. Remember this lifestyle can be dangerous and even if Danger is your middle name please make sure you are putting your safety first and making smart, well thought out choices and when you see someone else making poor decisions please remember to say something when you see something.

©TLK2020
11 Comments
How Old Are You ?
Posted:May 30, 2020 2:59 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2020 2:27 pm
1836 Views
~And Vinyl Albums


29 Comments
To The Women Who Are Labeled....
Posted:May 29, 2020 5:52 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2020 1:52 pm
3384 Views
~

17 Comments
~Time
Posted:May 29, 2020 3:48 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2020 5:06 am
3306 Views
~

6 Comments
~Instructions
Posted:May 28, 2020 6:01 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2020 12:36 pm
3418 Views
~

6 Comments
The Craving
Posted:May 28, 2020 4:06 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2020 2:26 am
3402 Views
I crave something more than sex… more than orgasm. I can easily pullout a few toys and get myself off. Hell, there are times when reading certain erotica can get me there without touching. But when I think of what I need most, while it is physical, a huge part of it is mental. I crave connection and mutual need. The build-up and anticipation of obeying. Service. The touching and teasing. The enduring and begging. I don’t just want to fuck myself with toys for the sake of an orgasm. I mean, I love cumming! But it reaches to a whole different place in my being when the toys… when *I* am in someone else’s hands. I crave words. Direction. Seeing the lust in his eyes as I whimper. Hearing his arousal in the gravel of his voice. I want to please him by cumming on his fingers again and again until I am hoarse and exhausted.

I see this picture and it occurs to me that I don’t want the man that would help himself to what is offered. I need the man that demands exposure. That feeds on obedience and craves the scent of my arousal. The man whose fingers twitch to bury themselves in my greedy dripping cunt. That crave the sting of impact. That has to knead and expose.. to explore and claim every inch.

I don't just want the orgasm. I want the honor and connection of surrender.

~ beautybookmark
3 Comments
Hands ~
Posted:May 27, 2020 7:09 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2020 2:40 am
3462 Views
“She adored his hands closed protectively over hers and when they roamed her naked body with the gentlest of touches. She craved them curled around her delicate neck and when their grip made her flesh ache. His hands showed her his burning lust and his unconditional love. His hands contained his power.”

Copyright © Dirty Romantic - Tales of Love, Lust & Loss
7 Comments
Talk To Me - Your Very First D/S -S/m Experience
Posted:May 27, 2020 6:28 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2020 12:42 pm
3511 Views
My first experience was with a gentleman twenty years my senior. I was nineteen. We were work colleagues and one thing led to another and we found ourselves together one night. That night we "played for the first time". It was light, just a blindfold, but it was all that was needed for me to become hooked on that feeling. The feeling of being made to lay still and be directed to wait for every pleasure I was given. After that night we were inseparable. We stole moments at work. He would tell me what to wear(and not to wear) to work. what fragrance, etc. Just the thought of him would leave me insatiable. When I think back on that first time, I think back on it with gratitude. I felt like I interacted with someone who treated me with care.

I usually don't share too much about myself but I thought this was an interesting topic and I'm curious to know how people discovered this side of themselves.

Thank you in advance for sharing.
M~
9 Comments
Sometimes......
Posted:May 26, 2020 6:04 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2020 4:57 am
3581 Views
~

12 Comments
D/S Is Not A Dark Art But A Positive Place
Posted:May 26, 2020 4:52 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2020 3:51 pm
3553 Views
This lifestyle is often viewed as dark and when you explore around many people who identify on the d side of the slash love to discuss rules and even predetermined punishments for violations which, to me, adds up to a negative vibe that can to permeate everything BDSM on top of the lifestyle being seen as some sort of dark art by many in the vanilla world. Thankfully, I know the lifestyle to not be dark, dank, or a negative place plus I know that positivity creates positive outcomes. So this morning as I finished my plan to create a successful day for myself, I thought I would share ten things that I believe dominants can do to help their submissive achieve positively successful outcomes.

1- When your submissive has been dealt a few lemons in their day, work to inspire them to see the lemons as a chance to make some amazing lemonade. When things happen in life, remind your partner (and yourself) that you can only control certain things in life, to do their best and if the outcome is not an ideal one, then learn the lessons it can teach but keep the momentum moving forward. Life is not always filled with winning outcomes and a d-type can help their partner see challenging situations as a chance to learn rather than a reason to give up.

2- All of us are wired so that a negative experience can quash all of the good that happened leading up to that unfavorable event and leave us moping after as well. When a dominant sees that their submissive is having some of their positivity squeezed out of them by the day, have them share five things they are grateful for (the d-type should keep a list so they can challenge their s-type to think of new things rather than giving the same answers). This may seem hokey but when we are grateful, we are happier.

3- Work with your submissive so they get better at rejection. We often think of rejection as related to romantic relationships but it is so much more than that because it can be things such as having an idea shot down at work, a bad job interview, or getting overruled on what restaurant to dine at. Rejection is something that on some level all of us ‘fear’ but learning to manage that fear will allow for growth and inspire your partner to take on new challenges. Something to think about, Miguel Cabrera, from my Detroit Tigers, is the most successful baseball player at hitting, currently playing, yet he fails 68% of the time.

4- “Houston we have a problem.” Part of being your partner’s dominant is that you are the relationship’s leader and part of being that leader is fixing problems/issues when they happen. When a d-type notices something that needs to be addressed, do not just indicate that there is a problem. Consider not sharing that there is a problem and instead offer ideas and solutions to fix the problem without the s-type even knowing their d-type had sensed one.

5- This is a little thing but it makes a huge difference. Take the time to think before you speak and when you do speak, ditch those dirty words. No fucker, I am not talking about profanity but those even nastier words, negative ones. Replace negative words with positive ones and both of you will positively see the difference.

6- When your submissive is having ‘one of those days’ remind them to take a break and create a moment for themselves. If you sense your partner feels like the world is closing in, remind them to take a minute to catch their breath. It does not have to be a prescribed length and can be a simple reminder to have them close their eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale stress.

7- Something I do when I am having a going half-mad day is force myself to swap out the words I have to with I get to. Once again, this sounds simple but the effect is unique and it changes how I see things. Rather than “I have to go to work”, it becomes “I get to go to work”. Just that simple word replacement reminds me that I am lucky to be able to work as many wish they could be going to work but cannot. This simple trick can and will change your outlook.

8- Put the damn phone away. Social media brings a lot of great things but there is also a poop ton of negativity there. From negative news, people ranting that they have been done wrong and people sharing sad stories it can bring you down, so create a night or even a weekend where you create a safe place for your submissive to have fun, be happy, and the ‘dumbphone’ goes away. Trust me, we can all survive without social media for twenty-four hours and you will be happier.

9- No matter how awesome we are at avoiding drama, it seems that someone is always ready to pounce trying to bring drama into our lives. Something as simple as complaining will lower our mood and can bring us down. A dominant needs to work with their partner avoid being trapped in other people’s messes or to help them escape a sinkhole of negativity.

10- It all starts with a smile because a smile will make others smile. If a dominant wants to see their submissive smile more and frown less, then they can look in the mirror because it will start with them. The more a d-type smiles then the infection of smiles will be passed on their submissive. Remember to smile and pass it on.

As I read through this little list, I realize that while I had intended for it to be ways that a dominant can inspire success through positivity, the ideas I have expressed are all things that anyone can do because not one of them is exclusive of being in a relationship. So while I intended to offer ideas for a d-type to positively make their submissive’s day a positive success, these are all things we can do as individuals to make each day a tremendous triumph.

©LHS2019
8 Comments

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