I miss the community this used to be
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Posted:Mar 11, 2022 5:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 6:39 pm 1255 Views
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I just had angry men comment on my current status.
I'm a standard member and can't respond or chat right now because I'm not actively looking for a partner.
I like where I am.
I'm honest about that.
I want anybody actively looking to know so I don't waste anybodys time.
But this used to be a place where people talked, gave advice, shared experiences and made friends with others in the lifestyle.
I learned almost everything about the lifestyle on this site in the early 2000s when I first discovered my submissive side. I owe a lot to the generosity and openness of the welcoming community I found here back then.
That the site has declined to the point that women are heckled by angry loosers who feel entitled to any woman in the site is disgusting and heartbreaking.
This used to be a much better and friendlier place.
I actually stay active to HELP new members find their feet.
I think I owe that in repayment for all those that helped me and never expected me to fuck them.
I get that it's a site now and it wasn't then, but community culture goes a long way towards everybody getting what they need.
How do we fix this?
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Genuine Lifestyler
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Posted:Oct 18, 2020 6:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 6:39 pm 1944 Views
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I recently started training under a new dom and, as if often does, training has caused reflection.
I'm learning that, not only have I not been reigned in and truly under a dom's control in years, I've been topping from the bottom because of their lack of experience, insight, understanding or simply as a means of having my needs met.
I'm a switch.
I rarely met a person, man of women, who tickles my dominant side. Even so, I don't want to own a sub long-term.
I'm a sub with slave tendencies capable of topping, with absolutely no interest in topping, from the bottom of otherwise.
So imagine my surprise when the epiphany of the reason for my unhappiness revealed itself!
I've been fighting my actual needs and nature even within the Lifestyle!
Granted it was under unconscious direst and I don't think it was intentional -I don't think I actively seeked doms who I'd have to control. But I'm finding now that my new dom, as he peeling away the layers, has to break several unconscious topping from below habits that I'm only now realizing are exactly that.
They're second nature now.
So deeply engrained that I'm surprised whenever one of these habits is revealed as problematic.
I feel both worse than a novice and frustrated in the knowledge that I've lost something over the years by submitting to doms who didn't fit and not realizing how unhappy that made me.
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Never been a blogger
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Posted:Jul 5, 2020 4:27 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2021 8:45 pm 2778 Views
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It feels like a public diary posting, not really a fan.
(Why would any of you want know what I'm thinking? )
But I'm giving in because it's a way interact here that's still free and I'm a standard member.
I read a post about alt vs fetlife and I'm a member of both, but hate it there. Like I said on that blog, their interface sucks, the profiles are even less informative there than when members don't complete them here and I'm sorry, but I'M that member who checks their fetlife profile once every year or so!
I like this environment and I'm sometimes here everyday, other times it may take me a wk or so... but unless I'm blissfully distracted in a ltr, I rarely stop visiting alt.
I gave up having friends on this site because I only seem to garner a certain type of attention because of my pix. I took them myself. I like them so I won't change them. Yes I'm real. Yes I'd genuinely like to have a wide circle of friends in the lifestyle and not just online. I'm not mainly looking to develop aan online personality. I'm looking for irl interactions with both friends and lovers.
I'm babiegyrl on fetlife and if you reach out to me there I'll respond when I check my profile again in 2021... lol, seriously I've been trying to do better but ugh, so not a fan!
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