Spring?
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Posted:Apr 11, 2024 11:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2024 12:55 pm 1445 Views
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Where>?
It is the wet season again!
it just doesnt seem to stop raining!!
Anyway, to pass the time,  i am sewing skirts for on the way.
i will be wearing bikershorts, (offcourse) so i will also be wearing skirts on top of that.
i dont like the look of those bikershorts, i want to hide them,
under some skirts.
I have been sewing two already and now i am in the process of finishing them.
I am also pimping them up, with all kind of lace and buttons, just for show!
So i have something nice to look at, while on the way..
It will look like some gipsy/ Ibiza style skirts...
want to sew a sheet bag for in my sleeping bag, i might be making two...
I need to level the soil in my garden, to make space for my tent...
see how that will go?
I am busy on all fronts, at the same time!
I love that!
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11
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I am upset,
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Posted:Apr 11, 2024 11:32 am
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2024 1:05 pm 1430 Views
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I asked my if she was willing and able, to buy me some piece, equipment to protect myself, on the road.
I told her, you can get your money back, that is no problem.
We talked a bit more about this specific equipment...
and if she had to be registered, when she buys it?
I really dont know.
Here in Holland, we have other laws about carrien those tools..
I dont want to use that one word...
All of the sudden, her partner is breaks into our conversation and is going all the way.
About law and police going to shoot me, if i dare to use it, and what i am planning to do is totally illegal...
He was full force going on!
It felt like he was attacking me!
Come on, show some respect!
he is goddamn it, half my age!!
I was totally flabbergasted!
I know this shops sell those items all the time.
They have them on show, in the shop, they are in various sizes and materials.
It is legal to have such tool in your home.
You can not even kill someone with it!
It is just to scare someone away......
Give me time to get out of where ever i am....
If you want to move around with it, you have to keep the two important ingredients apart from each other!
It is all very logical.
He did not appogise for his behaviour, at all.
I dont know what i triggered with this, in his brain.
But my god, it was some heavy shit!!
I wont ever ask them something again
I dont need his shitload over me, again!
i will go to that shop on my own, and buy it...
It was such an easy request..
You dont have to hide it, or something like that, or buy some special bag for it,
it will fit in your inner pocket of your coat...
What a drama!!
I will ask him, an other time, what the matter was, with him....
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11
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A wound and resin?
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Posted:Apr 8, 2024 12:26 pm
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2024 10:13 am 2784 Views
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I have been doing some reading, on healing wounds on the way...
There is this very great smelling resin in pine trees, if you cut a branch, you can use the resin as a band Aid.
I did that with this one wound, on my little finger that does not heal, because i constantly rub it against all kind of stuff...
Very frustrating....
Now i have put on some resin, and it works like a charm!
It is very sticky... but who cares! it heals
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14
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A M/s dynamic, (relationship?)
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Posted:Apr 8, 2024 11:40 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2024 1:41 am 2509 Views
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Some will prefere to call it a d/s, rather then a Master/slave dynamic.
To me, a D/s comes too close to what all those players are talking about.
So, my preferences goes to use the M/s dynamic.
For me, a d/s is more about playing the bedroom dominance role...
As i said before; To each their own...
It is a deep emotional desire to have a dynamic based on Authority Transfer.
It is just, their internal agreement about how things works best between them.
Also, to me, the word; relation is too much connected with that oso highly praised, "equality" in socalled vanilla relations.
while, my experience and what i see around me, in socalled vanilla relations, is that there is no real! Yeah, i said that word!
no real equality.
There is more of less a constant power struggle going on,
manipulation of each other....Who stays on top, this time, to what price....
As i see it.
There are no arguments in a Master-slave dynamic
It is cristal clear to both of them,
That the whole power struggle is not there
They talked it through, for a very long time, to get to the bottom of this.
how they understand this, for their happiness
He likes to be in controle, guide and protect,
She likes it, when 'he' does take care of her, in that way.
she has her own set of responsibilities.
as he does, too.
It is a totall other focus on "having a relation"
there is NO power struggle, he takes care of all of her.
And, she, on her end of the dynamic takes care of his wants and needs, too.
There is also a totall other use of terms, words
It is an totall other way of thinking, about á relation...
There is NO vanilla in such a relation,
sure, they need to do, shopping, taking care of elderly, pets, and work, cleaning
BUT,
the basic is always that power dynamic, in wich he leads and she follows.
he is 24/7 in her mind and she is 24/7 in his mind,
Thát is the core focus.
Ofcourse there are personal variations on this theme.
The core stays the same.
In some M/s dynamics, it is the slave who runs the financial part, because she is much better in that, then the Master.
There are also M/s dynamics, where the M type is totally NOT interested in having to keep score with what happens with her money.
Or, when there are young ones around, it could be very well, the case, that only one person is totally responsible for them.
It is what they both agreed on, what they both need, and want, in, out of that dynamic
The core is; he is in charge. he leads.
Even when it looks like, she leads... 
surrender to his will, his ways, because that makes her feel loved and cherised,
in a way no vanilla relation is ever able to give her, to fulfill that deep inner need and want of hers....
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9
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Sun, soleil, sol, zon, sonne,
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Posted:Apr 8, 2024 3:12 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 4:56 am 2489 Views
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We got two days sunshine, again the wind was freezing cold,
so, you could NOT sit in the garden, in the sun,enjoy it, ... 
And then i heard, some very important air flow, The Artic Polair Vortex,
changed course, above the Northpole.....
Wich could have a very big impact on the weather overall, and here too.
The wind changed from West to East, and that means, most of the time
overhere, very bad winter, cold weather!!
God forbid!!
Not again!!
They are talking abous snow, again.... and freezing temps, too.
They specifically mentioned two dates, the 16 and the 17 of April.....
How is that going to work?
Two days of snow, and after that, we are going on with the spring times?
I dont get it...
Stop this planet, i wanne get of!!   amp;
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11
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An other family member...
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Posted:Apr 5, 2024 10:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2024 3:26 am 3205 Views
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My sister just got the bad news, that yet an other family member is told his days are done.
An other family member with multiple cancers all over, in his body..
He, too, took all the needles...
😵💫🥴😭😣😫
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18
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I got 20 points, so he said....?
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Posted:Apr 4, 2024 12:40 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2024 2:50 am 3654 Views
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In this conversation about dominance, submission, master, slave
he told me at one point, that i just won 20 points?
HUH?
What?
I did not know, i was in a game of winning points?
I was under the impression, we had some sincere conversation
about what being in a D/s- or M/s all is about...
scoring points?
He never mentioned that before in our conversation,
That i had to collect points, for what ever reason?
So, i finished that contact.
Points??
WTF?
anways, good riddance.
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22
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Dominance, dominant, master, dominance, master?
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Posted:Apr 3, 2024 11:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2024 10:41 pm 3678 Views
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I am done.
I am too tired,
and have been lied to, too many times.
To be able to open up, ( again ) for someone...
Well,.... Why?
The amount of energy to have to put into that socalled new contact,
never equals the energy, i get back....
Most of the time....
It all starts as lying,cheating, cheap talking....
I just feels there is something off....
Like those bedroom dominants?
I inmediately feel they are playing a game
Not really interested in me, at all
Only in what they can get out of me, or out of my body....
Sooo terrible tiresome...
I am done playing games just to stroke their egos....
There is such a big part of psychology in building a Master_ slave dynamic.
This is, certanly in the beginning, a case of fingerspitzengefuhl
being subtile....
It is not about ticking of some boxes, of wants and needs, hornyness, and the likes?
You have to want to invest time, energy and being sincere is just one very big part of this, too
Having patience, building trust, be réally, réally into that other person?
Both have to want to dig into that other persons personality.
Not!
Not trying to keep a score....
I am done.
I dont mind if i never, ever wil meet a Dominant_ Master in my whole life......
They are not worth the effort....
I am rather happy without them.
Then have to go through all those lies, and game playing....
All the emotional turmoil they create by making believe talk
but never, ever are able to follow that up.
sorry lot!
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13
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I really have no idea,
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Posted:Apr 3, 2024 11:25 am
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2024 11:29 am 3705 Views
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I really have no idea, why some people think, they can lie to me, about things that are easily proven otherwise?
Do they think, i as a woman are half brain death?
Or dont have my facts checked out?
i really dont understand this behaviour of some men....
I have these friends, a heterosexual couple, living in North Portugal
We exchange messages about what is going on in their and mine life....
All is good.
Then, all of the sudden, he starts telling me how i have to ride to South France?
What IS he thinking?
Does he really think, i did not think this through, did not get all the info i needed and wanted to make a good decent decision??
Do i give of this vibe about being stupid and not able to decied for myself, what is best, for me?
I really dont get this.
Do they really think that i am sooo gulleble?
I dont get it, at all?
This other person, too, we exchange messages, and all of the sudden, without me giving any indication that i am in for this proposal,
he decides something, wich i totally dont agree with!
We did not even discussed this, at all!?
Not asking me, nothing??
I must give off some real strange vibes when people, and especially men, think they can make decisions for me, while i did not even asked for advise??
Do all men, think, deep down in their hearts that all women are not capable of making decisions on their own?
How could we, as wimmins, ever have survived, with the UNWANTED "help" from the penis wearing kind....?  
You could say, those guys and i are defenitily not on the same page, anyway!!
Thunderstruck....
I have this other friend, he is a former dominant, he knów me, he knows how i think, how things work for me,
he is capable of giving very sound advise, and lets me know, he thinks in the same brain wave as i do..
it is great to talk with him, our conversation really, really flows!
he gives me good ideas and i him.
It is great fun.
I really have no idea, what, if anything, is going on in those brains of those other men?!
Can someone, please explain this to me?
I knów, i am not at all without any brain activity, so that could not be the point.
I also knów, that i am rather intelligent and have a rational way of thinking.., analysing things..
So?
What is it!
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7
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An other family member,
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Posted:Apr 3, 2024 3:35 am
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2024 6:01 am 3744 Views
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Is terrible sick, is in a very sad state, too
No stamina, way too thinny... does not eat enough....
She was always totally focussed, well i would rather call it obsessed, with her weight...
Allways talking about how much fat she has were....
while in real time she looks like a starvation..... model....
Doing all kind of power training.. just to stay that inmaginary thin.
to overcome her "fat"....
It is, ofcourse, totally a mental act..... state.....
Gets help now.... But i just dont know about that....
For how long, how well that works?
Have been reading up, on the processes, going on to get those persons from who,
to get them to admit their mourderous plans
Get their help to admit that too.
The facts are staggering, and soo terrible down right evil
Doctors, engenieurs, lawyers, people from all kind of education levels,
are collecting evidence, on what was REALLY going on.
One engineer, lost his own ...
is now collecting all kind of medical facts,
They did not want him to look at the medical papers of his own ..
His , wanted to give his heart to science,
They could not use it, it was full of blood clots...
People die in their sleep, because their bodys are under attack from within.
drop death on the street or have multi cancers all over their organs.& brain, backbone..
Have problems with their hearts, blood, or failure of other organs..
That got him suspicious and now he is doing a lot of research to find out.
The horrible true, about those "vaccins".
It is medical gen tech experimenting on the whole world population.
There is still an excess killing going on.
With the knowing of all kind of high on the foodchain folks,
governments, MD's.....
The whole bunch.
Crime against humanity, the human kind..
I hope this family member has the spirit, the power to overcome this...
I doubt it, though....
Knowing, what i know, about this "killer vaccin"...
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8
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