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Cutting The String
Posted:Jan 25, 2019 12:32 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2019 12:40 pm

A comment was made during a discussion last night that struck a chord with me. I wish I could remember the wording but I don't. Basically, it had to do with when a relationship ends but the contact between the two remains. It dealt with the Dom/Domme keeping the submissive around to fill in until other; shiny thing comes along.

This is something that actually shows a lack of respect for the one being left danging on a string. Submissives tend to accept this because of how deeply their to submit is and how strong they care for the Dom/Domme.
Sex During First Meeting
Posted:Sep 6, 2017 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2017 10:21 pm

I am probably going to get some negative comments but that's okay because this is about my personal beliefs.
To start with I believe sex on a first meeting is a very poor idea, you know very little about the other person except what they have shared with you through online and other possible ways to connect other than face to face. Have I been stupid and not followed my own advice? I am embarrassed to admit yes I have not always done the smart thing.
I received a message from someone from another state saying he would see how well I could please him BEFORE we talked logistics. To me that means meeting, getting fucked and never hearing from him again. Now I have no clue is he is disease free. I have no idea of anything about this person so a meeting would be out of the question.
I have come to realize every meeting is, in fact, taking my life in my hands and if I ended up alone with someone from a first meeting and we went somewhere {hotel, motel, own home} I am then placing my life in the hands of someone I have just met. And I am no longer willing to take that chance.
Oh and by the way, when I told him I wouldn't have sex at a first meeting I was informed as a "Master" he sets the rules not me. Something I also disagree with until I chose to submit to this person/
I am who I am
Posted:Sep 4, 2017 1:00 pm
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 2:13 am

Was reading a blog post written by someone I see in chat and it triggers thoughts and memories of my own experiences concerning the topic. The topic being submissives having opinions and speaking out.
Guess what, I am a submissive and that doesn't mean I checked my brain at the door. I have thoughts about a wide variety of topics and when they get brought up I speak about my thoughts. If people have an issue they don't have to listen that is their right just as it is my right to speak.
I have been told I am too opinionated to be a submissive, well again guess what. People have opinions and **gasp** I am still a person. And again people don't have to listen to my opinions.
What I am not is a doormat. I will not play the whole I can't think for myself please think for me role. Doesn't work for me.
I t will take a strong self-confident man to deal with me and I know that, but I wouldn't want less. But guess what, if and when he comes along I will honor him and hold my opinions to myself unless he wants to share them.
Ageism in BDSM
Posted:Aug 23, 2017 10:34 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2019 8:49 pm

I am a 65-year-old woman who is submissive by nature. My age hasn't changed that one tiny bit. I still have the need to serve and to please. But so often, especially on Alt I have been told I am too old to be a submissive as well as things like I need to go back to the old ladies home, I should sit in my rocker and forget. And those are the nicer comments.
Something that I find interesting in this is Doms my age and older are all chasing the ones in their 30s and 40s. And suddenly 55-year-olds have been interested in me. Some have even told me they would rather have a more mature woman who is past playing games and understands more about life. Isn't that interesting?
But guess what. One day you will find yourself being 65 and still be having these desires and needs. I can only hope when your day comes those around you understand that age doesn't make you less.
The point is I guess no matter what your age someone is looking at you and thinking you are too young, too old, too whatever to be in the lifestyle. Next time you find yourself reading someone's age and having those thoughts remember one thing, someone is reading your'sand judging you based on it as well.
Posted:Aug 2, 2017 11:00 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 2:15 am

Again last night the topic of newcomers to the lifestyle and so here I am writing about my own thoughts on this one. I haven't been living this "lifestyle" for 30 years. What I did learn about 17 or so years ago was I have been doing so my entire adult life with no knowledge. This lack of knowledge could have very easily ended in my being seriously hurt or worse, but I was lucky.
Then roughly 17 years ago I stumbled into a chat room {gasps: another one from online???} that had people on both sides the coin that was living this on a day to basis. They felt it they duty as experienced lifestylers to mentor those wanted to learn. Yes, there were many that came and went not "real" but there were ones like me who felt we had found out "home". I watched for a long time taking notes and reading and reading and reading. Finally, I began to ask questions and was amazed at the help that was extended to me. During this time I met a local couple and we became friends offline. At that time there was a very active community with a full-time club. I joined and again began learning more. I took advantage of workshops, the library for more reading and again those who had been around for a time. One of the people I met was an amazing submissive. She became my mentor and best friend. She introduced me to others I could learn from and steered me away from those who weren't safe for the level I was at and probably never would be.
My belief is those who have knowledge should offer to that knowledge. There will be a lot who think they know everything, happens everywhere in life. But there may be that one you can help. And those who have been around have a duty to offer to help those ones.
Again my blog my thoughts
Posted:Aug 2, 2017 10:38 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 2:15 am

Was in one of the chat rooms last night and the topic of labels came up, Dom vs Master, sub vs slave, self-appointed titles vs "earned" ones. Seems there are some who are hard core about being against the self-appointed one. But that raises a question, how does one receive the acknowledgment? Or is it even needed?
It isn't like there is a college degree one can attain decreeing so-and-so is now a Dom and with more studying they are now a Master. Personally, I had thought of myself as a submissive but I am learning more and more about myself and in doing so am finding many slave traits. And that brings up a whole other discussion for a different blog.
I am fairly certain there will be those from the old school who will jump in here with their own thoughts. Just please remember, my blog, my thoughts.
Judging others
Posted:Jul 18, 2017 10:35 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 2:16 am

I am as guilty of this as anyone else, judging people by their kinks. Lately, I have been hearing from littles how judged they feel. And sitting in an alt chat room i have watched as others did just that.
Who is to say my kinks or your kinks are wrong? As long as they are legal and doesn't cause actual harm why not just acknowledge it and move on. There are thinks i have seen r/l that squidged me and so i removed myself.
Let's face it, life would be rather dull if we all only liked the same things. If you find something you don't know about then ask questions, but not in rude ways. Ask them in the same way you would like to be asked.
Learning is growth.
The term "Play"
Posted:Jul 8, 2017 12:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2017 2:01 pm

Again I can only speak for myself so here goes. I see the word "play" used so many ways in this life. Some use it to mean let's have sex. Some mean it as a lead into sex. Then there are ones who look at this as more serious than "Play". I seem to find myself in the latter category, The "kinks" I enjoy many call play but to me, they are much more serious. They touch something deep inside my soul. They free me to be the true me. I don't expect anyone to fully understand because often I don't either. I just know it frees me.
Safety first
Posted:Jul 7, 2017 10:39 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2017 11:43 am

I added something about this in my profile but thought I would say more here. When I was first discovering BDSM one of the first pieces of advice that were drilled into my head was something I firmly believe in. If a Dom is really interested in a submissive he will come to where she lives. Being where she knows the area and has a sense of safety is invaluable. Also, it is a big step to building trust. Traveling to an area she doesn't know takes her feeling of safety from her. Trust is a major part of this whole thing.
Reminder about rushing things
Posted:Jul 5, 2017 1:32 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2017 2:01 pm

Had a reminder about slowing down. There isn't a rush. Taking one's time is a good thing. Also, trust your gut. Your inner voice can sense things you might miss.
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