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My Blog

Welcome to my blog!

Posted:Aug 2, 2017 11:00 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 2:15 am

Again last night the topic of newcomers to the lifestyle and so here I am writing about my own thoughts on this one. I haven't been living this "lifestyle" for 30 years. What I did learn about 17 or so years ago was I have been doing so my entire adult life with no knowledge. This lack of knowledge could have very easily ended in my being seriously hurt or worse, but I was lucky.
Then roughly 17 years ago I stumbled into a chat room {gasps: another one from online???} that had people on both sides the coin that was living this on a day to basis. They felt it they duty as experienced lifestylers to mentor those wanted to learn. Yes, there were many that came and went not "real" but there were ones like me who felt we had found out "home". I watched for a long time taking notes and reading and reading and reading. Finally, I began to ask questions and was amazed at the help that was extended to me. During this time I met a local couple and we became friends offline. At that time there was a very active community with a full-time club. I joined and again began learning more. I took advantage of workshops, the library for more reading and again those who had been around for a time. One of the people I met was an amazing submissive. She became my mentor and best friend. She introduced me to others I could learn from and steered me away from those who weren't safe for the level I was at and probably never would be.
My belief is those who have knowledge should offer to that knowledge. There will be a lot who think they know everything, happens everywhere in life. But there may be that one you can help. And those who have been around have a duty to offer to help those ones.
Again my blog my thoughts
Posted:Aug 2, 2017 10:38 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 2:15 am

Was in one of the chat rooms last night and the topic of labels came up, Dom vs Master, sub vs slave, self-appointed titles vs "earned" ones. Seems there are some who are hard core about being against the self-appointed one. But that raises a question, how does one receive the acknowledgment? Or is it even needed?
It isn't like there is a college degree one can attain decreeing so-and-so is now a Dom and with more studying they are now a Master. Perally, I had thought of myself as a submissive but I am learning more and more about myself and in doing so am finding many slave traits. And that brings up a whole other discussion for a different blog.
I am fairly certain there will be those from the old school who will jump in here with their own thoughts. Just please remember, my blog, my thoughts.
Judging others
Posted:Jul 18, 2017 10:35 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 2:16 am

I am as guilty of this as anyone else, judging people by their kinks. Lately, I have been hearing from littles how judged they feel. And sitting in an alt chat room i have watched as others did just that.
Who is to say my kinks or your kinks are wrong? As long as they are legal and doesn't cause actual harm why not just acknowledge it and move on. There are thinks i have seen r/l that squidged me and so i removed myself.
Let's face it, life would be rather dull if we all only liked the same things. If you find something you don't know about then ask questions, but not in rude ways. Ask them in the same way you would like to be asked.
Learning is growth.
The term "Play"
Posted:Jul 8, 2017 12:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2017 2:01 pm

Again I can only speak for myself so here goes. I see the word "play" used so many ways in this life. Some use it to mean let's have sex. Some mean it as a lead into sex. Then there are ones who look at this as more serious than "Play". I seem to find myself in the latter category, The "kinks" I enjoy many call play but to me, they are much more serious. They touch something deep inside my soul. They free me to be the true me. I don't expect anyone to fully understand because often I don't either. I just know it frees me.
Safety first
Posted:Jul 7, 2017 10:39 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2017 11:43 am

I added something about this in my profile but thought I would say more here. When I was first discovering BDSM one of the first pieces of advice that were drilled into my head was something I firmly believe in. If a Dom is really interested in a submissive he will come to where she lives. Being where she knows the area and has a sense of safety is invaluable. Also, it is a big step to building trust. Traveling to an area she doesn't know takes her feeling of safety from her. Trust is a major part of this whole thing.
Reminder about rushing things
Posted:Jul 5, 2017 1:32 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2017 2:01 pm

Had a reminder about slowing down. There isn't a rush. Taking one's time is a good thing. Also, trust your gut. Your inner voice can sense things you might miss.
1 comment
My take on BDSM
Posted:Jul 4, 2017 1:27 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2017 2:00 pm

First I firmly believe there is no right way nor wrong way to do this, it is what works for your way.
That said for me BDSM is about the power exchange, the connecting with others with similar thinking, the scenes and lastly the sex.
So many today are all about the sex which is fine for them but not for me. As I said in my about me sex is simply the icing on the cake which is the other things. And sometimes I like my cake without frosting, but not that often.
That is just a quick take on BDSM my way.

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