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QANTAS 8/28/2007
Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college
degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix
one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our
jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called
a "gripe sheet, " which tells mechanics about
problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the
problems, document their repairs on the form, and then ...
1 Comments,
66 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
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I pinched this one from AdultFriendFinder 8/19/2007
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in
the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this
time, " he thinks, and rolls over.
Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going
to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself
out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there
is a man standing ...
0 Comments,
196 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Johns Tale. Does tell ! 8/16/2007
take our average friend here. Well, He's constantly
filled with inner desires, he could never tell a soul. But, as have us all. He, meets a friend. One acquainted with
others. Johnie's jumps at the chance! Forced Feminization
"he doesn't question how the Fem. Servile training
is taught!Later in a brief phone call, already being called
janie just talking on the phone. But, our friend all ...
2 Comments,
145 Views,
1 Votes
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Top 10 Rejected Valentines Day Cards 8/8/2007
>10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
>But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
<br>
>9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
>Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
<br>
>8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
>In hopes that, later, you'd be my .
<br>
>7. This feels so good, it feels so right ...
3 Comments,
277 Views,
21 Votes
,4.73 Score
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Blonde joke 7/29/2007
Out on A Limb A blonde, brunette, and redhead are hanging
out on a limb of a cliff As the limb begins to give away the
brunette says, "One of us is going to have to let go
or we will all die." The ...
0 Comments,
80 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Blonde joke 7/28/2007
A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when
they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches.
They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the
name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. after
gettingtheir food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can
you settle an argument for us? Very Slowly, tell us where
we are" ...
1 Comments,
157 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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These cross a line... 7/28/2007
Q. What's the best part of having sex with six year olds?
A. They're six.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Q. Whats the best part of having sex with twentytwo year
olds?
A. There's twenty of 'em.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Q. What's the best part about having sex with ten year
olds in the shower?
A. They look eight when their hair's ...
4 Comments,
141 Views,
11 Votes
,0.55 Score
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Scousers! 7/28/2007
Scousers Vs Manks
One morning, years ago, three Scousers and three Manks
were in a ticket counter line at a train station. The three Manks each bought
a ticket and watched as the three Scousers bought just one ticket.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one
ticket?" asked one of the Manks.
"Watch and learn, " answered one of the Scousers.
All six ...
1 Comments,
129 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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Crude jokes 6/30/2007
Q How do you know when you are getting old? A When you start
having dry dreams and wet farts!
0 Comments,
88 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Crude joke 6/30/2007
Q What is better than a cold bud? A A Warm bush!
0 Comments,
118 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Why are hunters such great lovers 6/25/2007
Q: Why are hunters such great lovers in bed? A: Because they
go deep in the bush, shoot twice and eat everything they
shoot?
0 Comments,
177 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
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shaking out a rug.... 5/24/2007
a woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor
condo when a sudden gust of wind blew the rug and the woman
over the rail.
"god that was stupid" she thought as she fell
"what a way to die" she thought
as she passed the 14th floor a mam reached and caught her
"Do you fuck?" he asked..
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could
stop herself..he dropped her
as she ...
1 Comments,
98 Views,
14 Votes
,3.78 Score
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The golden SHARK 5/24/2007
One day the fisherman, was out in sea and caught a golden
shark. The shark then start begging the man to let it go and
promised to grand him one wish. The fisherman already knew
about the magic abilities of the golden fish, so he agreed
to free the golden shark.
"OK now man, you better think hard about this wish,
because it will be only one to be granted with" the
golden shark said. ...
2 Comments,
208 Views,
16 Votes
,3.86 Score
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I Shall seek and find you 4/30/2007
I Shall seek and find you ... I shall take you to bed and control
you... I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt
and groan.....
All my love
The Flu
1 Comments,
234 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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The Experimental Drug 3/30/2007
** Cant take credit for this either found on another site...but
well worth the long read**
"Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or
something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..."
"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you
ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I ...
1 Comments,
422 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
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An Octopus 3/30/2007
An octoupus walks into a bar and says " I can play ANY
musical instrument you like".
An Englishman give him a guitar which he plays better than
Jimmy Hendrix.
An Irishman gives him a piano to which he played better than
Elton John.
A Scotsman walks over and throws him a set of bag pipes. The
octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman
says " Whats wrong- can ye ...
1 Comments,
269 Views,
13 Votes
,5.49 Score
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Jeffrey and Lorena 3/29/2007
Q. What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
A. "Uhh, you gonna eat that?"
0 Comments,
52 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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A Man comes home early 3/27/2007
A man comes home early and finds his wife in bed asleep. He
lifts up the covers and works his way up to her pussy which
he eats until she comes over his face. He slides out from
under the cover and goes to wash his face, when he opens the
bathroom door his wife is sitting in the bath shaving her
legs.... "What the fuck are you doing in here" he asks......
ssssssh says his wife you will wake ...
1 Comments,
172 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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A New style of vibrator 3/25/2007
A new vibrator just out for women is so realistic that just
before she reaches her climax it cums, coughs, farts, goes
limp and then switches itself off !!!
6 Comments,
405 Views,
14 Votes
,3.78 Score
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Sex Problems 3/21/2007
A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe
problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him
a lot of questions, but he couldn't get a clear picture
of the problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch
your girlfriend's face while you're having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once."
"And how did she look?"
"Oh boy, she looked very angry!"
At this point the ...
0 Comments,
128 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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church bells 3/20/2007
A 80 year old man died at home sunday morning. A young woman in their church goes by to pay her respects.
She asked how he died and the old woman said "he had
a heart attack and died while we were having sex" "How awful" the young woman says "but,
ain't that kinda asking for it at your age?"
She smiled and said"oh well we thought about that
and he came up with the idea of having sex when ...
0 Comments,
92 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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College Student 3/19/2007
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any
excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in
the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I ...
1 Comments,
290 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Whats the difference... 3/15/2007
between chess and sex?
4 Comments,
228 Views,
9 Votes
,0.43 Score
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A Thief, Jesus and Moses 3/4/2007
While a thief was robbing a house late at night he heard something
say, "Jesus is watching you." The thief shinned
his flashlight around the room to see a Parrot in a cage.
The thief asked, "Are you Jesus." To which the
parrot replied, "Ohhhh no, I'm Moses. Jesus
is the Pit Bull who is watching you."
0 Comments,
155 Views,
14 Votes
,5.06 Score
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Italian American Joke 2/18/2007
> > >
> > >A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They
sit down and engage in
> an
> > >animated conversation. The lady sitting
behind them ignores them at
> > >first, but her attention is galvanized when
she hears one of the men
> > >say the
> > >following:
> > >
> > >"Emma come first. Den I ...
1 Comments,
134 Views,
15 Votes
,6.50 Score
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Getting old 2/16/2007
"I've sure gotten old, " Grandpa said.
"I've had two by-pass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm
half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet
engine, take forty different medications that make me
dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with
dementia, poor circulation, and can hardly feel my hands
and feet anymore. Can't ...
4 Comments,
286 Views,
20 Votes
,3.51 Score
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The Bus Stop 2/16/2007
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman
wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.
<br>
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come
up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed
and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind
her to unzip ...
2 Comments,
166 Views,
14 Votes
,5.22 Score
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Two Priests 2/14/2007
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress
and step into the showers before they realize there is no
soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it,
not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in
each hand , and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down
the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.
Having no ...
0 Comments,
281 Views,
14 Votes
,5.22 Score
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Well-endowed 1/31/2007
** Cant take credit for this either**
There was a young man who was so well-endowed that it was
bothering his knee. Three doctors and one nurse were in
the operating room to remedy the situation.
The first doctor said, "We'll just take a big
hunk off the end." They discussed it and decided that
would affect his sensitivity.
The ...
1 Comments,
246 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
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Wal Mart 1/28/2007
** Cant take credit for this either found on another site....
well worth the long read!!**
Trouble at Wal-Mart
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that
he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping.
He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to
browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
...
1 Comments,
142 Views,
8 Votes
,6.03 Score
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