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Black Eyes 1/28/2007
***Can't take credit for this either***
What do you tell a man with two black eyes?
Nothing hes already been told ...
1 Comments,
123 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Lucky Lady... 1/22/2007
A girl and her mother are walking through the zoo when they
come to the elephant enclosure.
"What's that hanging from the elephant, mom?"
the girl asks.
"That's his trunk honey." the mother replies.
"No, mom, I know what a trunk is." the girl says,
"I mean hanging between his back legs?"
The mother sees that the bull is sporting a 3 foot hard on
and says "Oh, that's ...
1 Comments,
289 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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Hot and Sexy for Christmas ( a bit late I know) 1/22/2007
****** SEND THIS VIA SMS TO A SPECIAL MAN OR LADY ****
I was going to send you something hot and sexy for Christmas
but the postman told me to take the stamps off my arse and
get the fuck out of the mailbox !!!!
0 Comments,
620 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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Things a sub should not say during a scene 1/21/2007
You hit like a girl
<br>
My Last Dom didnt have a problem keeping it up
<br>
UGH STOP give it to me I'll show you how!
<br>
You're doing it wrong!
<br>
Your leather pants will be out of the dryer in 10 minutes
<br>
Yeah ..well..You know...This whole do whatever you say
thing? It's just not working for me.
<br>
What am I your ...
4 Comments,
191 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score
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The Ducks 1/20/2007
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night in a hotel
room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
<br>
The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said "No" Daisy told Donald
that they could not have sex if he didn't have a condom.
<br>
"Maybe they sell them at the front desk, " she
suggested.
<br>
So Donald ...
3 Comments,
144 Views,
13 Votes
,3.98 Score
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Blond Cop 1/18/2007
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red
sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer
(also a blonde). The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's
license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively
more agitated. "What does it look like?" she
finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's
square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally ...
2 Comments,
226 Views,
17 Votes
,4.96 Score
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Little Johnny 1/18/2007
** THIS IS A JOKE AND IS NO WAY RELATED TO THIS SITE ..... IT
IS ONLY THAT - A JOKE **
The teacher standing out in front of the class... she says
"Now class I would like you to put into a sentence the
word .. contaigous..
So in an instant from up the back shoots little Johnny's
hand " Miss Miss Missssssss" straining for
all his worth....
Teacher ...
1 Comments,
384 Views,
12 Votes
,3.86 Score
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Sister in Law 1/18/2007
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over
a year, and so
we decided to get married.
<br>
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged
me. my girlfriend? She was a dream!
<br>
There was only one thing bothering
me, very much indeed. That one thing was her irresistible
younger sister.
<br>
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty ...
1 Comments,
398 Views,
18 Votes
,6.81 Score
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drunk's perspective 1/18/2007
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she
selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
<br>
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check
out, a Drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the
items in front of the ...
2 Comments,
109 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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Renaming Viagra 1/18/2007
In Pharmacology all drugs have two names, a trade name and
a generic name.
<br>
For example the generic name of Tylenol is Acetaminophen,
Aleve is known as Naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin and Advil
is ibuprofen.
<br>
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
<br>
After consideration a group of Government experts have
decided on the generic ...
2 Comments,
79 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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Cowgirl 1/18/2007
A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
<br>
She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each
one in turn.
<br>
When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders
three more.
<br>
The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You
know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better
if you bought one at a ...
2 Comments,
142 Views,
12 Votes
,5.45 Score
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Top 10 Reasons Why Medical Professionals ROCK 1/18/2007
10. We see naked people every day and have to pretend we don't
notice that they're naked. And the naked people pretend
they don't care that they're naked, because they
want us to think they're "cool" with nudity.
<br>
9. We've taken courses in anatomy and physiology and
we're not afraid to use them!
<br>
8. We like to wear our sexiest lingerie under our baggy, ...
2 Comments,
144 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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Bartender Psychology 1/18/2007
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could
nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.
Though interviewed separately,
they concurred on almost all counts.
<br>
The results:
<br>
Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a ...
2 Comments,
133 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Adam &Eve 1/18/2007
On a beautiful day in the garden Adam and Eve were kicking
back enjoying paradise. When Eve started bleeding, (aunt
flow showed up). Eve takes off in a panic. Adam cries for
the BIG CHEESE, to help. God asks whats wronge. Dammit I
had to put down my beer. Adam tells him the story. God tells
him all is OK, its just something that will happen monthly
for the rest of her days. Oh by the way ...
2 Comments,
122 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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WHY MEN ARE NOT SECRETARIES... 1/18/2007
WHY MEN ARE NOT SECRETARIES...
<br>
<br>
Husband's note on the fridge to his wife:
Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn't know you liked beer.
2 Comments,
159 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
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The insensitive bit 1/18/2007
What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called
? ......... The man !!!
and no i'm not a man hater...... arrrrrr so sue me !!!!!
3 Comments,
75 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Whats a bucking bronco ??? 1/18/2007
Whats a bucking bronco ??? Thats when your fucking your
girl doggie style and you say.... " From this angle,
you look just like your sister".....
Then hang on.....
omg !! i cant believe i put that one in here..... very sad
indeed....
3 Comments,
367 Views,
16 Votes
,4.01 Score
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10 oneline b/s lines 1/18/2007
10. "I'm in this private room consoling a depressed
friend".
<br>
9. "You're different...........I've
never felt like this about someone I've never met before."
<br>
8. "I'm new online and haven't had time to
create a profile...............but tell me more
about yourself."
<br>
7. "I never do cybersex!! Yet here in this room alone
with you, well I'm ...
2 Comments,
60 Views,
38 Votes
,1.58 Score
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Why ? 1/18/2007
Why did the man cross the road ??? Cause he heard the chicken
was a slut ......
now I really AM scraping the bottom of the barrel !!!
3 Comments,
196 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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Boys Will be Boys 1/17/2007
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I
think it's about time we
started cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for
breakfast, I'm
gonna say something with hell, and you say something with
ass.
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When their mother ...
2 Comments,
214 Views,
15 Votes
,6.04 Score
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My Top 10 sub Taglines in IL 1/8/2007
All right folks you ladies didn't make it easy for me
I'll tell you that but heres my top five in IL sub Taglines:
<br>
<br>
10) Are You Dom Right?
(Dom Right I am!!!)
9) Seeker in search of Him who i can serve
(Huked on foniks a must)
 If at first you don't succeed.................
(Kill the witnesses and start over)
7)I love being an exhibitionism
...
2 Comments,
129 Views,
11 Votes
,2.23 Score
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5 Levels of a Hangover 1/8/2007
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to
function relatively well. However, you are still parched.
You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason,
you are craving a steak& fries.
<br>
<br>
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look
okay, but you have the mental capacity of a ...
1 Comments,
89 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Fabric 1/8/2007
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter,
a pretty yet dominant woman asked, "I want to buy this
material for a new corset and skirt. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking
male clerk. "That's fine, " replied the
women. "I'll take five yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his
face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped ...
1 Comments,
216 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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Pete & Suzanne 1/8/2007
Pete met Suzanne in a nightclub.
They enjoyed each other's company very much and at
the end of the evening Suzanne invited Pete to her place,
where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and
energetic session in bed together.
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the
bed and snuggled up close to each other. After a short while, Suzanne
began tenderly stroking ...
1 Comments,
259 Views,
14 Votes
,4.26 Score
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The Prognosis 1/8/2007
Paul returned from a doctor's visit one day and told
his wife Alma that the
doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her
tears, he asked
her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made
passionate
love.
<br>
Six hours later, Paul went to her again, and said, "Honey,
now I only have
18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?"
Alma agreed ...
3 Comments,
329 Views,
11 Votes
,5.97 Score
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Doctor says to lady... (yeah yeah i hear you all !!) 1/8/2007
Doctor says to lady "your knees are all blistered"
Lady says "That's cause I like it doggy style"
Doctor says "Cant you do it another way?" Lady
says " I can but the can't"
oh god !!! why should I be the only one to suffer these !!!
1 Comments,
231 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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When I was born ....... (groaning harder) 1/8/2007
When I was born I was given the choice between being good
in bed or having an excellent memory................Fuck
!!!! now I cant remember what I was going to say !!!
(omg !!! god give me strength to write the next sikky!!)
1 Comments,
188 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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Anothery 1/8/2007
God appears to a man and says he'll have to quit fags
drinks and sex if he wants to go to heaven. A week later god
re-appears and asks him how is was going? Man says "The
fags and drink were easy to give up but when my wife bent over
to take the meat out of the freezer I couldn't resist
I had to give her one there and then!!" God says "they
dont like that sort of thing in heaven" Man ...
1 Comments,
152 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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Two Little old ladies 1/8/2007
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a
smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out
a condom, cut off the end, and put it over her cigarette and
continued smoking. The first lady says "whats that?"
the second lady says "a condom", this way my
cigarette doesn't get wet. The first lady says "where
did you get them from?" the second lady says "
you can get them ...
1 Comments,
196 Views,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score
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Mobile mobile 1/8/2007
Mobile mobile in my hand
Who's the sexiest in the land?
The mobile laughed and gave a grunt,
it isnt you ya ugly c*nt (sorry dont like that word)
1 Comments,
511 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
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