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Fly the friendly skies of Europe 9/8/2005
I read in the newspaper today that a new airline linking
Geneva with Milan, Rome and Naples is called Genitalia.
0 Comments,
76 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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You gotta hate it when that happens! 9/8/2005
"My oh my, but you do look different, " said
the office chatterbox to her work mate, "your hair
is extra curly and you have that wide eyed look. Did you use
special curlers? Some fantastically dramatic new eye
make-up?"
"No, " replied the co-worker, "My vibrator
shorted out this morning."
0 Comments,
84 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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I bet he sleeps alone tonight. 9/7/2005
"Don't you think I look younger without a bra?"
asked the aging trend follower.
"I really must admit you do, " replied her husband,
putting down his newspaper, "it's drawn all
the wrinkles out of your face."
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53 Views,
1 Votes
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Good point. 9/7/2005
I didn't understand why the use of waterbeds was reportedly
cutting down the incidence of adultry-until a friend asked
me If I had ever tried to hide under one.
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47 Views,
1 Votes
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You might not go blind... 9/7/2005
", " the father advised his boy, "while
it is no longer believed that masturbation will lead to
insanity or blindness-a quaint delusion of our Victorian
age forefathers-I think you should know that according
to the latest studies it can cause a serious reduction in
hearing."
"What?" said the boy.
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68 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Speak your mind lady... 9/7/2005
A nosey neighborhood busy body was so upset by what she saw
through the young couple's window that she ran right
over, jerked open the window and told them what she thought.
The young couple angrily maintained that what they did
in the privacy of their bedroom was their own business-and
the 16 other couples who were with them emphatically agreed!
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77 Views,
1 Votes
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Welcome to London. 9/7/2005
A tourist was propositioned in London one night. When he
replied that he had little money, the suggested
for "'arf a quid, " he could have stand
up sex in a doorway. The man agreed, a little uncomfortable
with the thought. After a few moments into the encounter,
the man froze. "Wots the matter duckie?" asked
the trollop.
"It's too much" raved the tourist, "not
only am I ...
0 Comments,
58 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Reincarnation? 9/7/2005
The subject of reincarnation came up at a party. Everybody
took their turn about what they would like to be reborn as.
One man said "I'd like to come back as a whale."
"A Whale?" Everybody asked in unison, all dumbfounded,
"Why?"
"Think how popular I would be, I would have a six foot
long tongue and I could breathe out the back of my neck, "
0 Comments,
53 Views,
1 Votes
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Watch your language! 9/7/2005
A man went fishing at the Hoover Dam and he caught a large
fish. He didn't know what type of fish it was so he asked
a Park Ranger. "We just call those Dam Fish, "
explained the Ranger. So the man took his fish home.
That night the man's wife cooked the fish and potatoes
and vegatables for dinner. After he and his family sat down,
he ask his wife, in a soft and polite tone, ...
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51 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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AMAZING CONCLUSION 9/6/2005
INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS WITH AN AMAZING CONCLUSION
<br>
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees
is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of ...
1 Comments,
120 Views,
8 Votes
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if only... 9/5/2005
"Every man should have a girl for love, companionship
and sympathy, " philosophized the wise old bachelor,
"preferably at three different addresses."
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63 Views,
2 Votes
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Now that's tough! 9/5/2005
Three chance hunting acquaintences were swapping stories
of bravery around the campfire. "There was this time, "
said the Texan, "that I done stomped a couple of rattlers
to death-barefoot!"
"Why once, " interjected the Alaskan, "I
kilt a full growed grizzly-bare handed!"
Then the two looked at the Virginian. Be the man from Virginia
just sat there silently, half-smiling and ...
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57 Views,
1 Votes
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Bad Dreams... 9/5/2005
It was in the wee hours of the morning that the man, who had
spent the night at his girlfriends, began to make strange
noises in his sleep. When the girl woke him, he explained,
in a trembling voice, that he had been dreaming that he had
been hanging over a cliff, his fingers desperately grasping
a bush he had grabbed to save him from falling."You're
okay now, so relax, " whispered the ...
0 Comments,
71 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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2 fleas 9/1/2005
2 fleas are in new york before winter sets. one flea says
to the other lets go to florida for winter and try to stay
warm.other say how do we get there? 1st flea say we can climb
into a nice penthouse and wait for a nice warm lady to use
the toilet and wam a warm ride to florida.2nd flea say cool
lets go.as they enter florida the first flea wakes up shaking
cold and wakes up the second flea ...
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138 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Think about it! 9/1/2005
"I just don't get it Doc, " the girl complained,
"every time I see a muscular man on the beach I get this
funny feeling between my toes."
"That is odd." the Doctor agreed, "which
toes?"
"The big ones, " she moaned.
0 Comments,
121 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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What does the AFL-CIO think? 9/1/2005
I heard a guy in a bar refer to adolescent intercourse as
a "teensters' union."
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75 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Harvard Research 9/1/2005
David of the Bible is beginning to emerge in a new light.
Harvard Researchers have pointed out that he was the first
young man to use leather to get his rocks off.
0 Comments,
60 Views,
1 Votes
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Some salesman will do anything for a sale! 8/30/2005
The insecticide salesman wanted the order so badly that
he made the farmer a special proposition. The salesman
would strip completely naked, spray himself with the insecticide
and then spend the night tied to a chair in the middle of the
field. If he remained unbitten, he would get the order;
if not, he would pay the farmer a cash forfeit. The farmer
accepted and when he untied the ...
0 Comments,
85 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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What was he thinking about cooking up? 8/30/2005
"Come into my bakery, " said the pastry chef
to his beautiful new assistant, "and I'll show
you my special use of shortening."
"Shortening my ass, " snapped the young woman,
"all you want to show me is your lengthening!"
0 Comments,
138 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Ain't it the truth. 8/29/2005
Someone, a whole lot smarter than me, once told me that "virginity
is a beautiful but fragile bubble that vanishes with the
first prick."
0 Comments,
70 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Now that is an odd insurance claim! 8/29/2005
"What's the problem? inquired the man when he
stopped at a friends office and found him staring blankly
at some papers.
"I'm trying to complete these insurance forms, "
he replied, "and I'm having trouble explaining
the loss."
"What did you lose?"
"One of my contact lenses, and it is insured-but how
in hell do you go about explaining you could not find it in
your ...
0 Comments,
186 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Always ask who is calling first! 8/29/2005
An elderly lady went to her doctor with stomach pain and
swelling. After a series of tests the doctor explained
to his patient, "the simple fact is you are pregnant!"
"That can't be, " protested the woman,
"Why I'm eighty one and my husband, though still
active, is eighty nine." When the doctor explained to the woman that there were no
mistakes, the lady picked up the doctors ...
0 Comments,
123 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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This may look odd... 8/29/2005
A woman complained to a builder of her new house that the
whole building shook when trains, miles away, sped by.
"Why the vibration almost knocks me out of the bed!"
She complained, "don't take my word for it, try
it yourself." The man shrugged his shoulders and
laid on the bed.
At that moment the woman's husband came home from work
and was standing in the bedroom doorway. "Just ...
0 Comments,
71 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Father of My ..... 8/29/2005
A bloke is in a queue at the Super Market when he notices that
the
<br>
rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand
and smiled
<br>
hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker
would be waving
<br>
to him, and although familiar he can't place where
he might know her from,
<br>
so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"
...
0 Comments,
134 Views,
8 Votes
,5.56 Score
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Now that's a tough woman! 8/28/2005
A lumberjack who was in town for the first time in months
went to the local cat house and asked for the roughest, toughest
in the place. "That'll be Sadie, "
said the Madam, "you go to room 3 and I'll send
her right up."
"And tell her to bring a couple of beers, " the
lumberjack ordered as he climbed the stairs.
A short time later, Sadie appeared, put two bottles of beer
on ...
0 Comments,
89 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Comparing notes 8/28/2005
Two college buddies who had been dating the same girl were
comparing notes one night. "All I've been able
to do is kiss her goodnight, " confessed the first
young man.
"That's all I've been able to do too, "
said the second youth.
"Tell me, " asked the first, "when you
kissed her did she say anything about letting you do more?"
"She might have, " the second young man ...
0 Comments,
73 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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You get the best advice from the oddest places 8/27/2005
"I locked my husband out of the house last week for
playing around with a number of other women, " said
the attractive housewife, "and now he wants me to
take him back. What should I do Reverend?"
"It's your Christian duty to take him back, "
intoned the minister, patting her hand. "But, "
he added as his grip tightened, "how would you like
to get even with the bastard?"
0 Comments,
96 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Oh groan... 8/27/2005
Perhaps you heard of the guru who refused Novocainwhile
having a tooth pulled. He wanted to transcend dental medication.
0 Comments,
130 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Safe Cyber Sex 8/27/2005
afe Cyber sex
If you are having cyber sex, it is important to be safe and
cautious. It is best to have cyber sex alone, but when you
are with a partner, be sure to follow these guidelines and
advice:
<br>
# Always use a firewall or other protection against C.T.D.s
(Cyberly Transmitted Disease)
<br>
# Orally is safer, but if going all out, be sure to stretch
your ...
0 Comments,
156 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Three men knocking at the Heaven´s Gate 8/27/2005
George Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all
died. Due to
a glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, all three
arrive at
the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though
their deaths
have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself
to Saint
Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him.
<br>
"You look like Einstein, but you have no idea ...
0 Comments,
121 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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